How I InstaTroll GaryVee for Followers

I’ve been following Gary Vaynerchuck (pronounced vay-ner-chuck) on Instagram for a long time. I haven’t really been using Instagram much, but whenever I would hop on there to look at something my wife had tagged me in, I would be greeted by some of Gary’s timeless “wisdom.”

I mentioned to a friend that I followed him, even though I think that most of what he advises is pure bonkers, and my friend said that he also “hate-follows” some people. I’ve thought about this a lot, and I’ve realized that I don’t hate GaryVee. I actually really like him. I like him so much that I’m willing to follow him in spite of the nonsense he keeps spouting.

I think he’s super charismatic and passionate. I would say that I have a man-crush on him, but I won’t because then you might think that I’m a “homo,” which I’m not; phew, glad we got that straight. I just like him. I like him in a similar way to how I like he-who-shall-not-be-named: I might not agree with most of what he says or does, and I wouldn’t hire him, but I would drink a beer with him. By the way, just to be clear, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being homosexual; I was just trying to be funny at the expense of an oppressed minority while at the same time shining a light on the systemic homophobia that pervades our society. Okay, I’ll stop digging now.

I fact, I don’t actually hate anyone. I even like most people. But I like some people more than others. Anyway, this brings me to the point of this “article” or “blog-post” or whatever the heck this is. Wait, what was the point?

Ah yes, trolling. So recently, I started delivering my “aesthetic response” to some of his posts. I would deliver an interpretive dance, but no one would see it, and I’m relatively shit at dancing. Instead, I have taken to writing little snippets of text in the comments section (like any normal person would). The screenshot at the top of this piece demonstrates the kind of thing I might write.

What seems to happen is that Gary’s statement ends up being a cue for me to comment on what’s true for me. So in this example, he says that “Everything great should be super-hard.” This is an incredible belief; it’s just ludicrous. This explains why he barely sleeps and makes speaking seem like an arduous exercise in producing the maximum possible number of words-per-minute. Apparently, there’s a deadline for everything. There’s a deadline for this sentence. This message cannot be delivered any more slowly or it will fail. I will fail. “Winners” never pause.

The message is that we must hustle 24/7. We must work on holidays, in the bath, while having sex, and, of course, while sleeping. But this is just a limiting belief. If you really believe that things have to be super-hard then they will be. In fact, great things will be accomplished in-spite of struggling. Great things will be achieved when we’re not even present, when we’re in-the-flow, when there is only effortless creation (which is always).

You can just look around at the world to see how effortless the creation is.

  • Mount-fucking-everest: bam! created!
  • This coffee cup I’m holding: bam! created!
  • Endless pointless instagram memes about hustling: bam! created!

Everything is being created effortlessly. It’s just that sometimes, some things get co-opted by an illusory sense of self and made into some big deal (and even that’s effortless). So, my my comment was:

Even if [everything great] “should” be [super hard], it doesn’t have to be. In fact, the “greatest” creations come from effortless flow.

But here’s the really weird part: I started getting followers on Instagram. Not just a few followers, a lot. I’ve started getting dozens of new followers per day. This is really bizarre. I didn’t comment to get followers. I just delivered my typed-response-in-lieu-of-a-dance, and bam: followers.

It surprises me because I feel a little bit cheeky, like I’m going against the grain and like I’m taking his message down a peg. But that’s not true: there’s always room in this world for both GaryVee and DuncanRee. And the result seems to be that I get more followers, which is kind of what GaryVee promised in the first place: engage with your audience and <something vague and magical> will happen. Seems like my audience is, at least partly, people reading the comments on GaryVee posts.

Of course, it’s not really that I’m trolling him. I’m just providing an alternative perspective; not the right perspective, not even my perspective, just a different perspective, and perhaps even a perspective that might resonate with someone. Perhaps this other perspective will filter through to GaryVee himself. Perhaps he will hear it and decide to kick back and drink a beer with me one day. Who knows.

So the title to this article-or-whatever-this-is is not really true; it’s just click-bait, just like this whole article was read-bait. I’m not trolling GaryVee; I just happen to provide an alternative perspective. I’m also not doing it for followers; I don’t care about getting more followers on Instagram, and I never expected to get any anyway. It’s also not really me that’s doing it; it just seems to happen, effortlessly.