“dwarf statue in garden” by dorota dylka on Unsplash

Nobody Meditates

These eyes open to the sounds of an alarm.

“Alexa. Alarm off”

The clock says it’s 4:30 am.

The bed is warm and comfortable, but this body and mind cannot, will not, drift back to sleep. They have been conditioned to awaken to this schedule, and they contentedly and effortlessly comply.

The large meditation cushion is unfolded and the meditation bench is placed as a seat. The eyes close again as the hands slip into soft pockets. Attention is placed on the breath in the nostrils.

Soon, the attention wanders away from this apparent reality and into a deeper dream of thoughts. Then it seems to wander back to attend to the breath. Back and forth the attention wanders, between an apparent waking state and an apparent sleeping state.

What is this thing that watches? What is this watcher that attends constantly? There seems to be a watcher that watches the mind wander into thoughts and wander back to the breath. What is aware of this thing that is watching? Where is the one that is watching any of this? These unspoken questions flow effortlessly through the mind, along with their ever-present, obvious answer: the answer to the question is always the death of the questioner.

Just for a moment, the struggle stops. Just for a moment, all of this is allowed to be what it is. The imaginary, tight grip of knowing and control is loosened and the completeness of all of this is recognized.

This apparent body and mind are being meditated, being meditated by nothing. No thing is doing this. No thing is meditating. Nothing can do it wrong and nothing can do it right. Nothing can do anything. This is not a practice; this is simply what is; this is simply extraordinarily ordinary.

After an hour, the bench and cushion are folded, and the day begins. This is a day where it may be recognized that nobody is living in it. This is a day that will seem to unfold a little more effortlessly than before.

Today it may be more deeply recognized that nobody is living this life, this life that shines from everything, this life that seems to be appearing from everywhere and nowhere.