My Autistic Voyage
How masking as an autistic woman is like a mythological sea journey
Have you ever seen one of those medieval maps, the ones with sea monsters drawn in the areas they hadn’t explored? That’s how my autistic masking works. When I’m in the areas I know well, interactions I’ve perfected over the years, I present as basically normal.
But if something happens and I end up on the edges of my map, in situations I’ve never been before, the neurodivergence comes out. When I meet a new person or the stakes are high, like a job interview, I keep the interaction in familiar waters.
But… the edges of the map are where the cool sh*t is. And if I never go there, I’ll never really understand my autism. So if I feel safe with a friend or colleague, I’ll try a new social technique I’ve been working on, or tell someone what I’m really thinking, in hopes of building real friendships and finding my true voice.
Being autistic means being an explorer and a gambler. The edges of the map are where people can get lost or hurt. Stakes are high and rewards uncertain.
To trying anyway.
