I have experienced this same thing. I work with a woman who is incredibly passive-aggressive. She will ask me questions that basically translate to, “are you incompetent? or just stupid?” There’s no winning with her if she wants something that you can’t do for her. However! she is also very charitable to the poor, collects for clothing drives, and food drives, and drives 40 miles to deliver it to the people in need. She also advocates for the less well paid employees to receive better bonuses. In short, she’s a mix of incredibly annoying, and sweet. It’s used to be a struggle for me as I vacillated between hating her, and admiring her. Now I just accept that some days she will annoy me and some days she’ll make me happy, and that I can allow her to be both likeable and unlikeable at the same time. No final decision has to be made about her.