Dead inside.

The best costume for Halloween.

I’ve never celebrated Halloween, maybe becuase I’m South African(most South Africans don’t celebrate Halloween) and I grew up in a Afrikaans family has something to do with it(afrikaans families also don’t generally celebrate Halloween), I don’t know, but it’s never been part of my life.

I remember in school how the teachers would warn us that Halloween was a satanic day and that taking part in it was demonic.I also remember watching a television series as a kid and having a hard time understanding why the people in the story dressed their kids as monsters and then let them knock on other people’s doors to ask for candy.

Yesterday I was scrolling through my Facebook feed when I noticed. one of my friends posted pictures of herself at a Halloween themed braai party.It was awkward looking through the pictures becuase I’d never seen afrikaans people celebrating Halloween, much less with a braai, it was weird seeing a warewolf spicing chops and Frankenstein arranging sosaties on the grill.Picture it, just try.

While I was scrolling through the pictures of vampires, mummies and zombies in the album one of the pictures caught my attention.

In this picture my friend was posing with another person at the party whose costume was a sign around her neck with the following. sentence:

I dont need a costume I’m already dead inside.

I read the sign and reread it, and read it again, it was a great costume, maybe the best one at the party, becuase it was, to me, the scariest one there.

Dead inside.

I think the sentence scares me becuase the thought of being dead inside is awful . I’d never want to feel dead inside, what would be the purpose then?, I’d rather be totally dead than partly dead.

Death, according to the dictionary, means being deprived of life.

To deprive, also according to the dictionary, is to withold something from a person.Death then, could be described as a state. or action in which life is witheld.

I’d never want to feel dead inside, what would be the purpose then?, I’d rather be totally dead than partly dead.

The first picture that jumps to mind when I think about life being witheld is a hosepipe with a kink in it.If you’ve ever used a hosepipe you know this trick.Instead of having to go to the tap to close the stream of water you just kink the hose and the water stops.You can have a pipe full of water, when there’s a kink in the hose it’s going nowhere.

Some kinks don’t stop the water all together, they merely slow the flow of it.The frustration of watering a garden with a hose that is partially kinked may not be as bad as a totally kinked hose but it still stifles the purpose of the hose, which is to bring life.

Being dead inside isn’t fun, not for the person who experiences it nor those who experience the person, simply becuase death isn’t conductive to life, except in the case of Jesus*.

You may be feeling dead inside, in which case you’re definitely taking home best dressed today, ok, that was either lame and irrespective of your feelings, or your cracking up laughing, I hope it’s the latter.

If your feeling dead inside I’d want to challenge you with two questions.

Question #1 Where’s the kink?.

If death is all about a supply of life that isn’t being allowed to flow then a very important question to ask is who or what is holding it back and why have you given them permission to do it.

If you’re brave enough to answer those questions you may find your kink.A kink exists becuase pressure is applied, the moment pressure is taken of a hose water flows again.It may be time to let the pressure off your heart.

Identify who or what you’ve given permission to kink your heart and revoke it, no one and nothing has the right to kink your heart.

Question #2 Who’s the garden?.

Feeling dead on the inside is a trajedy, but a bigger trajedy is the result of it on others.If feeling dead is merely about yourself than it’s easy to stay complacent while wait to feel more alive.The reality is that feelings aren’t verbs and as such they rely on outside stimulus to form, so waiting to feel more alive is a big gamble.

Feeling dead on the inside is a trajedy, but a bigger trajedy is the result of it on others.

The fist thing that happens to a garden when the irrigation isn’t up to snuff is it starts to wither.Your relationships will do the same when you don’t see yourself as a conduit of life to them.

Fighting something is way easier when you’re fighting for someone other than yourself.

So, who’s in your garden?, are they getting enough water?.

*Here’s the truth:






a relationship




There are plenty of novel ways to try and dispel death from your heart, some really beneficial and. useful, but in the end they all have one thing in common, you’re a slave to them.

You’re a slave because as long as you do x, y and z you’re guaranteed of life but should you miss one step it’s game over.

Do you really want to be a slave?

Jesus came to set slaves free.