Your Dreams are a Window to Your Inner Wilderness
Yesterday evening, I was going through Benjamin P. Hardy’s articles, one of which lead me to this beautiful track that for now has become the background music of my life. There was another one, I can’t quite remember what it was about, but I do remember it mentioned lucid dreaming and how one can train their mind to wake up in the dream state by routinely writing down whatever they can remember as soon as they wake up.
I pretty much forgot about this until today morning. This morning, I woke up abruptly around 4 am, and felt an instantaneous jolt to get some work done. I was awake till 7 am I believe, around when my mind automatically starting shutting down. I woke up again around 10 am, to the noise of my phone alarm beaming with the text “Wake The Fuck Up.”
I felt dizzy, like how you would expect to feel when suddenly woken up half asleep. As I was trying to make sense of the world, returning to my normal self from this empty half-conscious state, I was swinging between reality and my dream world. And in that moment, I remembered the advice I read yesterday.
Immediately, I gave my head a good shake and tried to store as much information as I could from my dream world. As I’m putting pieces of the puzzle together, trying to stitch some cohesive story, I realize that there isn’t one. It’s just a strange soup of thoughts and vivid imagination that seem to flow smoothly, but every scene is as alien to the next as is possible.
I still tried to put some words down, before I would forget them. Who knows, these weird current of visuals might lead to me better understanding my inner subconscious. Thoughts I never imagined myself thinking might be governing my world from the underground, like a bunch of gangsters. And if I want get any grip on them, I should first be aware of them.
Do you still want a glimpse of this mafia? I’m telling you, you’ll to be disappointed. Fine, your way it is..
“I was trying to race animals on a road close to my school. There were horses, I remember, and I somehow knew that if they would see me bolt, they will attack me (?) which they did. From then on, I was intentionally trying to mock them, to get them to attack me.
Suddenly things got out of control, and I had no where to run because I was cornered. They were all very angry with me and were about to attack me, while I was trying to figure out how to get out of this situation. I remember hearing voices, there were a bunch of people, as in from some room above or near me, observing me going through this dream, and they (he) was giving me instructions on how to escape.
He told me to bolt full speed (which I already knew). Right around this time, somehow the horses turned into cars, and now I was also a car (?) trying to escape other violent cars chasing me. I couldn’t visually see them, I could just feel them.
This was not a world obeying physical laws either, as I (the car) basically escaped by jumping over all these other cars that blocked my way. I then found myself in some weird home that looked like it’s was in some village. There were people around, and I could feel there was my Sis and cousin brother, and also James Corden (?) who was trying to perform his new song in front of these guys, while I’m trying to interrupt him from distance to share my escape story.
As I’m telling them, I start to realize how amazing it was that I got away. And immediately, I notice something dripping from inside of my mouth. It’s not blood, it’s not even liquid anymore. They were stones, tiny little sand stones. And they were in hundreds. I wondered where they came from, and someone responded saying that they are the stones the cars/horses/people threw at me (??) while chasing me..”
Told you it’s a series of incoherent thoughts. In fact, what you just read is the conscious heavily edited version of what I went through. The visual experience is not the same as reading the text at all.
I don’t know what to make of this. Some of it I understand, like I watched few James Corden videos before I fell asleep. But the rest (horses? tiny stones falling out of my mouth??) I just don’t know.
Trying to write this dream sequence did remind me of other more familiar visuals from my dream world, completely imaginary geographical locations with architecture I’ve never seen before. No one in their right mind would even build these stuff. I even remember the maps from some of them, they are not shaped like the maps we’re familiar with. They were more like strict geometrical diagrams.
I’ll try to continue doing this, trying to write down my dreams, and keep you updated if it helps me wake up some night in my sleep, lucid dreaming.
See you tomorrow,