Feeling cold in the middle of the boiling hot Arizona “all year long” summer
Today is officially the first day of summer even though I cannot really tell the difference because AZ is basically summer all year long. Interestingly enough, today is also the national day of Arizona. AZ is literally a summer state / desert state indeed and nobody can tell me otherwise.
A friend of mine who lived in east coast, massachuset, newton to be precise uploaded a piece writing saying how he felt warmth even though it’s super cold there. I visited my friend two times during his stay there once in summer 2022 and once in spring 2023 because he never visited me in AZ not even once and I’m not blaming him and that’s not the point of this writing really.
I’m gonna be talking about what’s going on here in AZ. It’s been one year and a half since I got here and I have already done three semesters of grad school and I’ve got one more to go in Fall. There’s a saying that goes like “you’re not happy if you keep counting the days” or “you’re not happy if you feel like the time you spent in a place feels super long” or something like that. I personally don’t know what to say about that. Yes, I keep counting the days and yes I feel like this has been the longest two years of my life. Some days are bad but not all days are bad. And the title of this writing is not entirely a clickbait because I really did feel cold the first weeks I got here or even more because that’s just how my body works or that’s how weak my physical form really is or whatever. The point is, yes, I got cold once or twice or thrice so far. However, it is also not totally can be taken based on the literal context. If you’re a reader, or a writer yourself, you know what I’m talking about, if you know you know, because writers tend to put a little bit of messages to say something that they do not really want to say by throwing some hidden message here and there and whatever, am I right? I write but I never consider myself a writer though. I don’t know about you but being a writer for me is more like how people will see you as a writer instead of how you see yourself as a writer. I don’t know what I’m talking about.
I’d say I caught a cold or feeling cold because I’m feeling lonely most of the time. This applies when I’m literally alone or figuratively alone. I’ve been feeling alone and being alone all my life yet the feelings are a whole new different experience when I’m studying abroad. It’s super scary sometimes like I would have been just staying up all night and just crying by myself and then going to sleep, as cringe as it might sound but that’s basically what happened. I’m not sugarcoating anything here or at least I’m trying not to sugarcoat too much. This is because a lot of people out there on the internet tend to promote how studying abroad got you feeling better from who you were before because you finally get to experience so many first times that you couldn’t even imagine doing in the place where you’re from, like snow for example. Yes, to some extent there is some truth about that. However, what most people tend to forget is that it’s not the whole story. Nope, not even close. Some days are hard and other days are harder.
What I’m trying to say is that it’s not all bad but also not all good. And I think it’s important to actually recognize and acknowledge all those feelings and emotions and experiences. To be totally honest, I guess I already mentioned this a million times but I’m gonna say it again. I know I’m always complaining about the hot weather but I prefer complaining about the heat than experiencing cold freezing weather because unlike Elsa the cold always bothered me anyway.
