Hustle is Word Porn

First of all, I have to apologize. I am really late to this party.

And before I get into my topic, I have to tell you how late I am.

I am on a few social media sites to keep up with what is going on in the world as well as staying in touch with my family and friends across the globe.

Some time ago I was watching my social media feed, and I was surprised at how many pictures of food were being displayed. More correctly, they were these exquisite dishes that people were making at home and posting online.

I’m like, “Wow, what the heck is this all about? There were dishes that regular people were making at home, and it was like art, you know? I thought, “Holy Cow, these people are really into this!”

And I admit it. I didn’t get it.

And then because I kept seeing more of these amazing food dishes I thought there must be something more to this. Like I missed the school bus on this trip or maybe I was out of touch with some new burgeoning industry. So I Googled “Food Pics.”

I truly wanted to know, was there something I was missing? I know I didn’t get the invitation to the party, so maybe I missed the whole “Bring a picture of your Quiche” thing, you know?

In my day it was BYOB. Okay. I get it. It’s BYOQ.

And then my Google search explained everything to me! The heavens parted and those chubby little babies in diapers came floating down in slow-motion.

It’s Food Porn!

Look it up. It’s a real thing!

Okay, so possibly you’re at the party looking at me like, “Dude where have you been?

Well, I admitted from the get go I was late to this party.

Truth is I didn’t even know there was a party. And not knowing there was a party I was eating my Southwestern potato salad, not taking a picture of it and posting it online.

But…but…now that I understand what it is, it makes total sense!

Here’s a definition of food porn:

“It means that the food which is being cooked is as delicious and pleasant as a real sex is.”

Wow! This is some party!

Although I’m not so sure someone’s lasagna is as pleasant as real sex, but hey, I get it now.

The article (one of many) on Quora.com goes on to explain this further.

“Same thing applies with words. The collection of words which are extremely ecstatic and beautiful, is word porn. It is just the over-exaggerated-glorification form of food and sentences.”

Wow! What a party! Food Porn! Word Porn!

I will never look at the Tuna Salad in a buffet line ever the same way again.

And now this explains this constant mantra I see everywhere I turn about Hustling.

Check this out!

“Hustle beats talent, when talent doesn’t hustle.”

That’s damn near erotic, right?!

Again, when I started seeing all these Hustle quotes, I was like, geez this must be the same friggin’ party where they serve Food Porn. So I Googled it too. Sure enough.

Its Word Porn!

And this dish is must be in big demand because it’s being served all over the place!

I have to be honest. I understand Food Porn. Some of those dishes do indeed look like someone’s going to turn the lights down and put on some Marvin Gaye.

But hustling?

See, when I grew up, I always hustled. I was never late to that party. I mean hustling was just what you did. You know. Like Tim Tebow. It’s just who you are. Can you visualize Tim Tebow dogging it? Nah.

My coaches in sports would only be yelling hustle to those who were dogging it.

Exactly!

That’s when you use the word hustle. I cannot see a coach yelling out to Tim Tebow, “Come on Timmy, you need to hustle.”

So what’s with all the Hustle quotes and guru’s dropping this Hustle Wisdom?

The punch bowl has been spiked with Word Porn!

I mean just look at the word.

Hustle.

It could be the title of a Men’s Magazine, right?!

Slick, glossy magazine pages packed with Hennessy and Breitling ads. Cool model pics of men with robust fonts that say “You gotta hustle to win. If you don’t hustle you don’t win!”

Ummmm…yeah…that’s why it’s inherent in us to hustle, unless you’re part of the I Can Dog It Club, and you’re justdoggin’ it to success. I’m sure that’s a club, too. But you wouldn’t tell them to hustle because…hello…they have their own club, See?

So what’s with all this Hustle Word Porn? It doesn’t make me want to hustle as I’m already in that mode. And it’s not really doing anything for me sexually. Unless you’re going to translate that into coming home after work and me and my gal are in the let’s-tear-off-our-clothes and meet-in-the-bedroom mode. I understand that hustle. But personally I’ve never needed a pithy motivational quote for that!

What this is, is just a modern day college punch bowl spiked with 100 proof Smirnoff and some marketing buzzwords that after a few drinks people are saying stuff like:

Damn. That is some kinda punch!

See, no one wants to be someone that doesn’t hustle.

So hustle becomes the new buzz word at the party.

Jason: “Where’s Jake? He should be at this party.”

Amy: “Oh, he’s been hustling his ass-off this week. Put in something like 80 hours. He’s probably at home on his laptop.”

That’s not hustling. That’s Jake drinking the Word Porn Kool-Aid thinking that’s hustle because if he wasn’t “doing his 80 hours” he isn’t hustling.

Listen. If you’re here reading this, I’ll put my chips on the fact that you already hustle and that you work hard and also work smart to be successful.

That’s just good old fashioned work ethic in my book.

So, I’m going to wrap up my time at this party. But before I go, I’m going to walk over to the table where that delicious hot lasagna beckons me, scoop up another slice, put it on my plate, and chow down.

But I’m going to pass on the Hustle Punch.

I’ve been hustling since I was eight years old when I learned that hustle meant you ran your eight-year old ass off to first base on a routine infield grounder.

I mean, that’s just what you do at work and in life.

Unless of course, you’re doggin’ it.