Where Have I Been?

In hiding.

Not really, but really.

I’ve been a little discouraged lately and although I would like to blame all my woes on pregnancy symptoms I know that wouldn’t be 100% accurate. Stress and doubt have both moved back home making it seem as though my life is on a temporary hold. I’m overwhelmed with the task of planning a future with two kids and trying to figure out just how big of an impact it will make on my debt free journey. Living off of one income — which is mine — is a struggle all by itself, but oddly it’s one that I take on with a smile. Nevertheless, I’m excited for change. Life was getting stale anyways.

The holidays have me in a bit of a scramble to find the perfect gift at the cheapest price — something I haven’t done before. It pained me to scratch off a few names on my list but my dear old banking account could only take so much. Normally, I would just swipe my credit cards for gifts that I knew would leave an ooh-ahh impression while waving my hand in dismissal at the prices. I justified my spending by saying that I would pay it right back but obviously by the looks of my blog you can rightfully assume that I didn’t. Good thing is my academic freelancing has picked up so I won’t have to spend the money from my day job on my Santa role. Score!

My blogging has taken a backseat lately due to all of the chaos in my life. My mind wants to pick up the pen and write but my heart is just not in sync with my thoughts. I envy those who are able to work a day job, blog, and still find time to freelance. I suppose I’ll master the juggling act one day . . . just not right now.

I’ve always been my biggest critic (join the club right?), and as I sit and think about the direction my blog is going I am slightly mortified. Like peeking between your fingers mortified.

The bulleted lists, “here’s how you can” titles, and other robotic repetitiousness has left me ashamed. This was supposed to be a community for everyone to get together for shameless venting and encouragement but somewhere I got lost.

Where’s my actual writing? I don’t know.

I’m on a debt free journey yes. Am I selling financial dreams here? No, but it sure seems like it.

This post is like a breath of crisp winter air. Raw . . . natural. . . . me.

Not I-want-the-most-popular-blog me, but me as in that young girl who sat by the window scribbling on the last few pages of her beat up spiral notebook while the other kids played. She’d be so proud right now.

Posted on Adebtfreejourney.com

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