Give Up On Your Dream Job
At various times in my life, I have fantasized about having various so-called dream jobs.
When I was a little kid, I wanted to be a pro athlete. I played football, baseball, basketball, and soccer. I watched SportsCenter and read the sports section in our local newspaper (wow I’m an old man). I read Sports Illustrated (not just the swimsuit edition). I read biographies and watched documentaries about sports heroes. I played sports video games and watched sports movies.
When I was in second grade, I played quarterback and catcher. I was really good. One of the better players in my small town. In junior high, I had to decide between football and baseball. I chose football. Looking back, this was the exact wrong decision. I was too small, too slow, and too weak to compete at this higher level. Plus I never got along with football coaches.
As could’ve been predicted if I’d thought more carefully, I soon quit. I joined the wrestling team and the debate team instead. I thought about what dream job I could pursue now.
Wrestling could lead to being a UFC fighter, I suppose. But I didn’t want to get hit in the face. So I didn’t do that. Again, I was too small to be in the WWE.
Debate could lead to being a lawyer, right? That’s considered prestigious (or scummy, depending on who you ask), but it’s not really a dream job. Anyone can become a lawyer if they study hard enough. My parents were lawyers and I think I could’ve done well. But, although I was good at debate, it stressed me out. The judges were stupid and they often made terrible decisions (coincidentally, the decisions I deemed terrible were almost always decisions that went against me).
I started writing and acting in high school. So I decided I would become a stand up comedian or a sitcom writer. I’d always been obsessed with comedy (even more so after I gave up on sports), so it seemed like the logical next choice. I continued to write, interned in Hollywood, and performed stand up comedy for free throughout college. When I graduated, I couldn’t afford to live in LA, so I moved back to my small town.
I didn’t know what to do, but I’d always wanted to live abroad, so I applied to be an English teacher in Korea.
I’ve been here about 6 months now and I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time. I don’t get paid as much as I would like, but I have fun at work every day. The kids and I laugh in each class.
I’m not paid as much as the people on TV, but in a way my job is pretty similar. In my classes, it kind of feels like I’m an MC, presiding over a variety show comprised of eleven year olds. I ask them questions, tell jokes, and play games. In a way, I am living out my dream of being an entertainer. I’m a host.
I still have thoughts about doing different things in the future, but for now, I’m trying to appreciate the job I have. I have fun every day and that’s more than a lot of people can say. I’m getting paid to play. That’s what I’ve always wanted. That seems to be the theme throughout all the dream jobs I’ve had: The desire to play.
Athlete- play sports
Actor — play characters
Stand up/sitcom writer- play with words
I gave up on all those dreams, at least the very specific version of them that I’d been thinking of in my head. But this was not failure. The fact that I gave up on these ideas and didn’t persist allowed me to pursue other goals and to find other things that I enjoyed. If I had gotten a writing job out of college, I never would’ve been a teacher and realized how fun it is. I never would’ve moved to Korea and had these unique experiences.
On the other side, there are several things about these dream jobs that I would’ve hated. Things I didn’t consider, but thinking about them now, I’m kind of grateful I didn’t achieve my previous goals.
Athlete/Stand up- both of these jobs require a butt load of travel. You’re constantly flying around, spending a night in one city, then on to the next one. Of course, if you’re on a sports team, you go where the team goes. And as a stand up, to make enough money, you have to tour a lot. It’s the same with musicians.
And guess what? I hate travel, especially fast travel. Don’t get me wrong, I love being somewhere new. But I tend to hate getting there, the actual traveling. Driving stresses me out, I get sick on planes, and there’s not really any other good way to get around the US. I used to think I couldn’t fly because of how sick I got. I eventually found a medicine that works, but it makes me feel weird and drowsy and it takes a day or two after landing to recover. It’s literally the same medicine that astronauts take when they’re flying up into space. I definitely can’t take that all the time.
Since I’ve been in Korea, I learned there is one form of travel I do enjoy: high speed trains. I love trains. They’re fast, but comfortable. Flying makes me sick or stressed, but riding in a train makes me feel relaxed. Unfortunately, the US doesn’t have a good railway system.
Another part of stand up I hate is all the waiting. I like being on stage, but sitting in a nightclub all night watching everybody do the same set they did last time is so boring as to be painful. And having to go out every single night was also something I didn’t like.
So, being an athlete or a stand up in America really wouldn’t work for me unless they get teleportation technology figured out. It’s just too much travel. I realized when I started working that I don’t want to commute over 15 minutes to the office, much less have to fly all over the country every month. Screw that.
Sitcom writer- I love writing, particularly witty dialogue. When I was in high school and college, I wrote an original sitcom script, an episode of Family Guy, an episode of South Park, and an episode of Always Sunny. I think the actual work would be a lot of fun.
But sitcom writers have to live in Los Angeles. And, as I mentioned earlier, I hate driving. I can enjoy driving at night on roads with no one else on them, but add in other drivers and I’m not interested. Getting on the highway in a major city is a nightmare for me. I lived in LA for 3 months and it was not nearly as fun as I expected. Driving was such a chore that I usual chose to stay home. Traffic makes me insane. LA is not a good place for me to live. It’s a wonderful city, but the infrastructure doesn’t work for me and the kind of lifestyle I want to live.
Actor- Actors have to live in LA.
I gave up on achieving all these dreams in America and decided to move across the world to try something new. But this giving up was good. I realized that I didn’t want what I thought I wanted. I wasn’t willing to make the necessary sacrifices and do what I needed to do to get where I thought I wanted to go.
I’m still interested in having a creative career in the future, but I don’t want to do it the way I planned when I was twelve. I didn’t know enough to know what would make me happy as an adult.
Maybe I’ll find ways to make money writing online. Maybe I’ll go all in on Korea, learn Korean, move to Seoul, and try to write K-dramas or something. Maybe I’ll learn to draw better and become a webtoon artist.
I don’t know.
But I do know that being happy is much more important than achieving any sort of dream job. The process is more important than your title. Sometimes your dreams should stay dreams. It doesn’t mean you’re a failure. It means your priorities changed (or really, you just realized what your priorities actual were) and so you decided to change course.
I doubt I want to be a teacher forever. I still have lots of ambition. I’m trying to decide where to aim it now. But, in the meantime, I’m trying to appreciate what I have.
No one would describe my job as a dream job. It’s easy to get and not well paid or prestigious (although much more respected in Korea than in the US). But it’s a great job. I have fun, I’m around positive people, and I get to practice presenting and joking around everyday. It pays enough to cover my expenses and for me to save a little bit each month.
I don’t have a dream job, but I have a job that I love. And that’s what really matters.
Don’t decide what you should do based on fantasies that you had as a child or teen. Consider what having a particular job will actually entail on a day to day basis. What is it that you actually want to do? What kind of life do you want?
Sometimes, you have to give up on your dreams so that you can live your life.