Set The Bar Higher
A common thing that I hear from parents is that they want their kids to be better off than they were. That they want their kids to accomplish more. I think that this sets a very low bar for their kids and can push them into becoming complacent.
Think about this for a minute: You grow up in a home where your father works in a factory and your mother is a stay at home mom. There is nothing wrong with this life, in fact, it was my life for most of my childhood. However, if you only try to have your child be more than a factory worker or stay at home parent, you aren’t really pushing them towards any major goal. The factory job only requires a high school education, so if that is the route you want them to be better than, they only have to get a higher paying job at that level. If they need to be better than the stay at home parent, job wise, then they could work at McDonald’s forever and accomplish that goal. I’m not comparing stay at home parents to a McDonald’s worker by any means, I am simply making a point.
What I’m saying is that we should be striving for more for the next generation. As I wrote yesterday, I was always urged to go to college. It was something that my parents felt strongly about. However, it wasn’t the same for my brother. If he went to collegwe or not, they could care less. They knew that wasn’t really his thing and never pushed it. Instead, they just wanted him to be financially stable. This went from working in the Post Office, to now working in the same factory as my father. If we’re going off of the “I want my kid to have more than me” concept here, they failed him. Granted, they were able to give him a much more comfortable and enjoyable life up to the point that he became an adult but, for now, I’m focusing mainly on careers and aspirations.
Now, there are people out there who dream to be in these kind of jobs. My dad was one of them that, as a kid, he wanted to work on the Ford assembly line. That’s exactly what he did. He reached his goal and has hated it ever since. Still, he helped put my brother in that position because it is a financially stable job to be in. If it were me and I wanted the best for my kids, it wouldn’t be all about financial stability, but moreso about financial freedom. There is so much more out there in the world than doing manual labor 10–12 hours a day 5–6 days a week. I knew from a young age that this was not for me and so I went to college. Still, I’m unhappy with where I am. The only difference is that I don’t plan on staying here. I don’t plan on being comfortable with my surroundings. I’m constantly striving to achieve more.
In my parents eyes, I reached the bar that they set for me. They wanted me to go to college and so I did. I’m accomplished. I have a degree and should be able to get any job I want. That isn’t the way that the world works though. You don’t just get that sheet of paper and magically ge the job you want. Just because I’ve done more than my parents doesn’t mean that I have made it by any means or that I should stop.
I want my kids to have better than I had, be better than I’ll ever be, but I’m not going to set a low bar for them. I’m not going to say, “Go get your Masters. I never did so if you can do that, you’ll be better than me.” It’s not realistic. This isn’t sports. There are no stats in life that we’re constantly trying to top. I want my kids to be the next Bill Gates, Steve Jobs or Mark Zuckerberg. I want them to create ideas that will shape culture and the world as we know it. Growing up, my parents didn’t know what the Internet was becasue it didn’t exist. In the past 20 years the entire way that we interact with the world around us has changed time and time again. I don’t want to act as though nothing has changed and that my children have to just be better than me. No, I want my kids to be better than everyone else. I don’t want there to be a low bar because once they hit that ceiling they may have this false sense of accomplishment when, in reality, they haven’t accomplished shit.
I sit here, writing this blog, from my childhood bedroom. I have a bachelor’s degree in journalism and yet, here I am, living with my parents. I’ve met the standard they set for me and still have no direction whatsoever. Is this really all I was meant to do? Have I reached the pinnacle of success? Maybe to some, but to myself? Fuck no.
When will we change our mindset on this? When will we decide that being better than what we are is not enough? If you are one of those influential people I mentioned earlier, then by all means, streive to raise your kids to be better than you. But, for most of us, we live average lives and wish our kids could get just a little bit better than average. With this thinking, ten generations down the line, there will be significant progress. I completely disagree with this logic. I think we should strive to raise the next generation to make significant progress now. That way, in ten generations, they are running the world and can provide the next generation with endless possibilities.
This isn’t going to guarantee success for your children. They may even end up disappointing you and not even meeting the low bar you had once set, but you don’t hurt anything by setting the bar higher. People reach for more when the bar presents itself. The more you preach hardwork and discipline, the harder they’ll work. It’s human instinct to want to be the best, but when the best is described as average, it’s easy to create a false ego. My wish is that we stop this repetetive cycle. Set the bar higher and let’s reach for it together.
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