I’ve seen many male managers and leaders regarded as fathers. That’s a compliment. Why is it that being regarded as a mother is not? Why do we devalue that role? Including by women/mothers themselves?
These days, the role of mother or father is independent of the gender of the person who assumes it. In a homosexual couple, one tends to play the role of mother, while the other plays the role of father. They are still valid archetypes. If your management style happens to be fatherly, yet your team is seeing you as a mother, they are wrong. But if your style is indeed motherly, there is nothing inherently sexist about that. Motherly style can be a perfectly legitimate way to manage people.
For instance, consider the difference in the general approach to problem solving between Jane Jacobs and Robert Moses. Jacobs’ approach was quite passive. She did not assume she knew how things should be designed. For her, the key was observation. She believed that the solutions are already there if we observed carefully enough. She nurtured our cities. This is very much like today’s standard practice for UI/UX.
Moses, on the other hand, just imposed his own will (or idealized vision) on to the cities he redesigned. It’s a typical male approach to problem solving.
Jacobs’ biggest contribution, I think, is that she introduced an effective female strategy into a male dominant field. I think it was a much needed contribution.
But if women themselves regard feminine strategies as inferior, we won’t make this kind of progress.
Again, if your style is fatherly, then you are right; your team is wrong. But if your style is motherly, that should be deemed a contribution to the male dominant industry.
