8 Things I Learned From Networking While Pretty

Here’s what happened. I set an intention to meet a massive celebrity and ask him for a job. It took me hours of internal debating to finally go. When the time came and I was at the beat-face-point-of-no-return I mustered every ounce of confidence and made it to the venue. Hours later I had climbed over bouncer obstacles, snuck into roped sections, dodged missing accreditations questions, polished networking skills and completely let go of self-doubts. I made it all the way to VIP with said intention and didn’t spend a dime. This adventure had reminded me that if I believed in myself enough I could design my future and manifest fate.

I’m two feet away from the big deal celebrity and nerves begin setting in, but I had come too far to back down. The same amount of confidence I could have in others I afforded it to myself.

And then it happens. His posse treats me like a low hanging fruit groupie and his security gently nudges me to the side. “I’m looking for an opportunity with the team,” did not work. “I’d like to work with his group,” also did not work. “I’ve come too far now,” you guessed it.

These are the hardships of networking as a pretty woman. Men in power automatically believe that when I approach them, I’m looking to bone. God forbid I have goals and dreams that go beyond being a successful man’s piece. I’ve finally reached a place in my career where in order to get to the next level I have to partner with the right people. And let’s face it, the amount of men in executive positions vs women is disproportionate.

J Cole waited for Jay-Z outside of the DefJam office. Big Sean intercepted Kanye during his stint at a radio station. They brought value and equity to J & Ye’s empire and were probably recognized for their bold determination. I have that same value and determination the only difference is I’m a pretty woman and I don’t have a mixtape. I have smarts, creativity, resolve, resourcefulness, a sense of humor and a work ethic that is very strong. I’m still talent. And it only took their gaze to strip me of that. His father even tried to go in for a kiss and was offended when I curbed him. Yeah, HE was offended and proceeded to say: “I could still get you pregnant.”

If I had any doubts about how these people saw me as little more than a POA, that interaction made it crystal clear.

By the way Pops, your feelings are not more important than mine.

Read more and check out the networking gems I learned here