Patterns and Anomalies.

Living with my Mother as a child was not easy. She has Bipolar Disorder with BPD. She was unmedicated until I graduated from High School. My youngest sister got the best of my Mother since at the time of her adolescence, my mother was medicated and somewhat stable. She got computers, she got undying affection.

What I got…

Was locked in cars for hours in the Summer.

Doors slammed on my hands.

Choked. Shoved. Endlessly screamed at.

These were all the patterns of my childhood that I lived with daily. My Mother is a much different person now and I forgive her for all of this behavior. She eventually knew she was struggling with something and she got the help she needed. I was her constant victim because I could always tell that there was something going on. I don’t like saying there was something wrong with her. It’s not her fault that her brain does not regulate dopamine or serotonin regularly. Or that she doesn’t understand boundaries. But she would put on an act for everyone, but I could always see through it. And she resented me for that. And I saw through it, because I love her. And I was paying attention.

I’ve been hurt a lot in my life. But I remain a happy, forgiving person. That wants everyone to love and be loved. I understand when someone mistreats me… That it’s them projecting. And I don’t take it personally. And that’s an anomaly.

I hope we can all reflect on how we have all been treated and begin to be more supportive and understanding instead of hurt.

I remain hopeful that we will all get through this TOGETHER. Because that’s the only way it’s going to work. That’s how the dream works.

You are loved. You are worth it.

Stay Blessed,

Poet