— via Vulture
From an extended online version of a story in the May 4 edition of New York. Letterman’s last show is scheduled for May 20.
“So, the Congress is debating whether to spend billions on a so-called stealth bomber that would be invisible to Soviet radar. Why don’t we just say we built it?” — Gerard Mulligan
“The American Medical Association issued this warning today: Be wary of a doctor who tries to take your temperature with his dick.”—Gerard Mulligan
“Robert Downey was just sentenced to three years in prison. And you thought he walked like Chaplin before …” — Gabe Abelson
I wanted a zip line in the theater from the third balcony all the way down to the stage, and I just thought — more for my own fun — I wanted to start the show on a zip line going 100 miles an hour. And that never went anywhere. — David Letterman