By popular demand, the population being my cousin and her boyfriend, I started a blog. And here it is!
Name of the blog? E-paperBag! Why?? Well, my friends and family love me, but they’re starting to get annoyed with my constant complains. It’s the economy, it’s the weather, it’s the people (IT’S ALWAYS THE PEOPLE), my cat is always running around my feet, my dog is to affectionate, i have too much money and everyone loves me, there is always something to complain about! ALWAYS! Trust me on this one, if I’m breathing I’m complaining!! But I am not disconnected with reality, I am very aware of the tremendous luck I have, I mean: I am moderately healthy, I have a roof above my head, food to eat, clothes to wear, a car to drive and a chance to study, so you would say “Why do you complain so much?”. Honest answer? Can’t help it, it’s who I am, it’s in my nature. Like I said, if I’m breathing I am complaining!!
So, I’m going to try to make this first post a small brief about me. Some quick facts:
Name — Caroline Bingley (Not my birth name, more like my bitch name);
Nationality — Portuguese;
Occupation — Masters Student/ Consultant/ Treasurer of a small association; (40 women work there);
So, here it goes!! First complain goes to… my work in the institution. But first let me introduce you to what I, affectionately, call “The Den of all Evil”.
The Den is an Association which works with the elderly, we own and operate a retirement home and provide home-care services. The Direction (Managing Board) is elected every 3 years by the associates, and we’re volunteers! So, I’m going bald for no good reason.
You might ask — “Dear Caroline, why do you call it the Den of all Evil?”, to you voice in my head, I say that the Den is the Den because of the people who work there.
1 — Our social worker — who is the number one of the hierarchy likes to smoke, which is fine by me and Marlboro, if she would produce some work when she’s not smoking, and she’s also delusional. We don’t master the range of services we offer now, but she wants us to build a new facility and offer new services, that we cannot afford.
2 — The chief of service is as stupid as a brick wall, and as the emotional sensitivity of one too, no disregard to the brick wall. She should manage the staff, but all she does is create problems rather than solve them.
3 — The secretary, she is CRAZY!!! Not like Sheldon in the Big Bang Theory “I’m not crazy, my mother had me tested!”, hell no!!!! NO! NO! NO! NO!!! She really is crazy, I mean she has a disease, there are multiple cases of schizophrenia in her family, and she suffers from it, she must. Not joking or trying to be mean, the woman is sick. But where to start when it comes to Goldy Locks…well she has great influence on the president, if she tells him that the heart doesn’t pump blood but orange juice, the man will tell you that what we have in our veins is in fact orange juice, not what those ignorant bastards, that we call physicians, say to be blood. Because of this sort of relationship with thepresident she believes to be the boss, which is how she refers to herself in front of everyone, above all the staff, along the lines of “I am the boss, bitches!”! No you’re not, “bitch”!!! My personal favorite of the past 6 months is how she feels so at ease with the check book, the president and I are the ones who must sign the checks, so the bank will pay them. In the beginning, back when I thought that serious and responsible people worked there, even though I live 5 minutes away from the institution, I used to let her a few signed checks. I study and work in Lisbon so for all the practical reasons I used to left her a few signed checks, for some unexpected expense, etc. Whenever a new check book arrives the president signs them all, and I used to sign a bunch too. Well, that was a shit idea!!! Goldy Locks, has a wonderful salary and all she does is being on Facebook all day, and every now and then do some of her work, we even had to hire a second secretary to help her (I was initially against it, thank GOD they hired my dear slave/personal assistant — one of the 6 competent people to work there — who are all underpaid), I mean Goldy Locks won the jackpot!!! Mr. Z. for the win!! Just a little preview of what you can expect from Goldy Locks at the Den, without informing anyone, especially yours truly who is in charge of the financial management, she gave herself an advance, because she needed it, and she can! Let me tell you this, voice in my head, that was the last time she had checks signed by me. I will not risk being arrested or see my dog being pawned by the Tax Authority, because she had to go shopping in the middle of the month, because she had already blown her salary. Oh…she lives with her parents, and she eats all her meals at the institution, so she keeps all her money to the hair gel. Must be TRESemmé!