My Darling Ella Loo,
I’m sorry we’ve had so many annoying doctors visits the past two weeks. Dad had to make sure he understood exactly what’s going on with your body so he can be the best Dad for you. That annoying thing under your tongue is called a squamous cell carcinoma and while it’s rare for a nine year old, it’s one of the most common cancers in cats. Because your mouth is so little, we can’t remove it without taking your little pink tongue as well. Don’t worry, I would never do that to you! Radiation and chemo haven’t shown much success in cases like yours and it would be an infuriating hassle for you just to make your Dad feel better. I’ve got medicine for the pain when you need it but you’re so healthy right now I’d hate for you to be out of it for the last of our time together. I’m going to add something called CBD to your food which I’ve heard could be a miracle but mostly I’m going to keep you as comfortable as possible and spend as much time cuddling you as I can.
You have been my best friend for a decade, Ella. From the day you first chose me and curled up in my guitar case, you’ve offered me the unconditional support that only a beloved furry companion can. I joke that you aren’t really a cat at all but rather a fat little person dressed up in cat pajamas. Your face is proportioned such that it’s easy to anthropomorphize you and as you know you’re very very beautiful. But I don’t think those are the only reasons you are so special to so many. I truly believe you are a spiritual being on an important journey here and possessing a deep and rich internal life like a magical garden of ideas and feelings. Once while I was in a vision you taught me about the oneness of all things, a state you claimed to exist in at all times. Because of course you do. So I’m not scared for you Ella. I believe your transition will be graceful and that in your wisdom you will be ready.
I want you to know that I accept your pending departure and that you aren’t breaking your Dad’s heart by leaving sooner than expected. And I’m not going to hold on while you suffer because it’s hard to let go. When the time comes we will have someone come to the house to help us, and we’ll have a lovely ceremony to release you onto your next adventure.
I am grateful for you in so many ways. Even now, you reaffirm the importance of our brief time here. Already I am reevaluating aspects of my own mission on this Earth in light of your shortened journey here. When someone great passes we speak of legacy. In the coming weeks, I would like to honor you with a series of fancy cat dinners where all the human friends you’ve made in your life come by the house to meet each other and celebrate you. These cat dinners will allow Dad to reconnect with old friends and bring more community into his life. I honor you for this gift, sweet loving bear.
I will always hold a place for you in my heart. You are so very very precious to me.
I Love You