I never wanted a job, I wanted to do things and go places and the more I look at my life I can see that’s what I’ve been doing. From joining the Army at 18 to my current job now, I like the job hate people but it’s paying bills while I finish college and figure out what the hell in going to do with my life. I think the trouble started with me when I realized all my friends are getting married and having kids and I’m still discovering who I am and who I’m going to be. As a man you get distracted easily by women and bullshit goals that came to you in the mid night hours. Some how I started thinking about a career and wife and family and etc, but as think back I never wanted any of those things so where did they come from? I really don’t know I think it comes with becoming 30 and finding out life isn’t going exactly how you planned it. I thought by 31 I would have it all together you know the college degree the job hell the apartment in downtown. I have none of that and I have no idea how far away I am from any of those dreams/goals but here I am still struggling and typing away. I’ve done more than I planned but it’s all done with no direction I’m just out here in the open water with no sign of land or a raft. I don’t want to be a washed up guy who makes it to the land because I Drowned and by some grace of god my body made it to the land(what happens to the white guy in all the movies) I still plan to do a photo book of models and shit I’ve seen around the globe but part of me has bitten into fear about having a job and family, is it bad? No, in the mist of writing this I can see the answer to my question but it’s always good to get stuff all your mind and if you are reading this understand it’s just a freestyle writing of things on mind and this current time.