Cambridge Arts

The Art of Detachment

A couple of years ago I went through a horrible breakup. Even though the split was devastating many lessons came from the period of mourning the loss of companionship.

I became a yoga instructor that year and learned of a principle called detachment. Detachment is used to put people and things in right relationship in our lives. It allows us to exist independent of things and people. It clears out the human tendency to control, nag, and posses. At that time in my life, learning this way of thinking was a lifesaver.

Three years later I would meet my now husband and the beauty of our relationship blossomed from the principle of detachment.

I do not own my husband.

He is his own person.

I am my own person.

His needs, wants, likes, and dislikes are different from mine. That is okay.

Love by nature is freedom.

The Bible teaches this same principle, freeing man from his obsession to make this life, a temporary state, his permanent home. The Biblical teaching goes on to read, “How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog — it’s here a little while, then it’s gone.” The message encourages us to not only live detached but to live each day as if it were sacred.

Complete and utter independence from everything that seeks to own.

My husband purchased for me a beautiful engagement ring — simple and classic. Most mornings I remember to slip it on before heading out the door. On days I decide to work from home I don’t wear it. But with or without what the world would call a “rock” and a status symbol of belonging and success on a personal level I try not to detach myself to its meaning.

I am not defined by what I have.

My position is to flow through life grateful for the moments that make up each moment, loving people, living in the present, and learning from the past.

@earlinagreen

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ps: this article originally appeared on my website.