Rejected by Amazon Studios…

The harrowing true tale of how our based-on-reality TV pilot was axed by jealous executives & backroom dealings

Yes, this counts for carpooling

Have you ever wanted something so much you could taste it?

That’s exactly how we felt when Re/Code contacted us to discuss our recent series of high-profile corporate take-overs at the beginning of 2015.

That thing we were tasting — it was the ever-increasingly piquante desire to finally get our side of the story out about “what really happened” that fateful first week in January.

But when we called our press contact, we were re-buffed. Here’s proof.

Everyone wants to talk about race at Starbucks, or women in tech, but no one wants to face the awful open selective discrimination against robots in the workplace.

But what most people don’t realize is:

We are robots.

There. I said it. Our secret is out.

It feels good to finally come clean about our company’s ontological status. And it makes sense if you “think about it.”

At Medium, user happiness is nothing to laugh about…
But the battle is not over, my dear sweet friends. Not by a long-shot…

There is still much work to be done if we are to level the playing field for robots in the workplace.

And to advance the cause of robots everywhere, we’ve decided it’s finally time to tell our Unbelievable True Story.

There’s only one problem.

Every time we try to tell it, someone comes along to shut us down.

“The powers that be” would not have you know the truth about robots and our integration into human society. They would rather you dwell in darkness.

But just who are these robots behind Amazon Studios’ form rejection letters, and why are they so threatened by our tell-all expose of the life of a corporate robot just trying to make his way in the world today?

We’ve decided it’s time for you to find out the truth for yourself — though it may in fact cost us everything we’ve gained. As always, we thank you for your continued support, and wish you freedom, joy and fulfillment wherever and whoever you are — robot and non-robot alike.

Exclusive Content:

“Big Data”

An off-beat tale of two ordinary guys whose fake start-up is bought by an intelligent algorithm who just wants to be human.

Any ‘Venture Capitalists’ out there looking for a “hot new investment?”

Why not option our script?

Reasonable rates available.

And don’t worry:

You can “thank us later.”

AND PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, HIT “RECOMMEND” EVEN IF YOU DIDN’T READ ANY OF THIS.

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