A CHECKLIST FOR THE MAD 2

Eating the Sky
Jul 27, 2017 · 6 min read
Illustration by Gemma Correll

I will try to follow the same structure as David to provide you with a list of my own. The truth is I’ve been thinking of writing something like this many times, and such lists can be found in my thought journals. I hope my list will be comprehensive and helpful enough. My experience with Bipolar Disorder is not very long, but it is very intense. Let’s begin!

SLEEP

I will start with this, since it is something that should not be underestimated. Sleep is one of the main factors when it comes to mood instability; it is not only a good indicator for when an episode might occur, but it’s also the perpetrator. Sleeping less or not at all is the best indicator for an upcoming or current manic episode. Too much sleep and we go into the depression. To make it even trickier, insomnia can also accompany depression. Sleep is such a huge factor in managing our raging moods and emotions.

I think that my circadian rhythm is just different. From what my mother told me, I had so many sleep problems, even as an infant. I am mostly nocturnal; I tend to be sleepy and tired during the day. I am still not good at managing this, but I am mindful of any changes in my sleep pattern.

One of the main treatments used for treating Bipolar Disorder, Lithium, affects the circadian rhythm. Since going into detail about how this happens would turn this post into a scientific paper, I will leave the sources and articles at the end of this post, so you can make your own research.*

Personally, I find working on my sleep pattern and getting quality sleep is the hardest thing to manage. I am still a novice when it comes to this.

NUTRITION

I agree that eating properly, eating clean, and making healthy choices when it comes to food are important. To be honest, I’ve been struggling with eating properly all my life. I do cook, I like good food, but I don’t have much of an appetite. Until recently I was underweight, and in my first year at university I was going towards developing an eating disorder.

I am quite relaxed when it comes to getting nourishment now because I know that keeping a strict routine and diet doesn’t work for me. I do simplify the process for myself by asking myself “Have you eaten today?” If I am in my depressive episode it is important for me to eat at least once a day. I do try to eat small portions, sweet fruit, and food I usually enjoy. I sometimes slip and eat some junk food, but I remember what my doctor said at the time I needed IVs to function: “Junk food is better than no food at all”.

I know that weight loss and weight gain are very frequent for those with Bipolar Disorder. My weight has oscillated many times and the stretch marks on my body are a proof of the constant swing between underweight and normal weight.

Listening to my body works for me: feeling anxious and agitated-say no to the second cup of coffee; feeling drowsy and groggy-time to get some food; felling stable- eat mindfully and enjoy every bite.

Let’s not forget about water! I do drink loads, mostly because medication makes me so thirsty, but also because being hydrated helps me with the severity of headaches and migraines.

GROOMING AND HYGIENE

It’s ridiculous how mood swings can affect this! When I am depressed I don’t even brush my hair. Let’s not talk about taking care of my skin, that’s too much of a chore when all you want to do is sleep.

On the other hand, I can be so pedantic when in an upswing, many of my manic purchases consisting of beauty and body care products.

Taking care of my skin is especially important for me because I struggle with compulsive skin picking (also known as Dermatillomania), and I usually pick at my blemishes until I open my skin up, causing bleeding and scarring. Keeping my skin clean helps preventing blemishes and picking is not so frequent when the “targets” aren’t there.

I do try my best to keep a routine when it comes to taking care of my skin and body, and I manage quite well. Also, what works for me is treating myself to some products or treatments, because feeling good in my skin helps improve my mood. So, if a spa day makes you happy, go for it! Not only it makes you get out of the house, but who doesn’t like feeling pampered?

WORK AND STUDY

I managed to study full time and work part time for my first 2 years of my degree, but as my symptoms worsened this seemed like a losing battle. I am doing well in school, but I still had to take time off after a big mixed episode.

I was not so lucky with work (check “Losing my job to Bipolar Disorder” on The Advocate). What I try to do is finding jobs that do not require me full time, and freelancing is what seems to work for me at the moment. Financial stress, as any kind of stress, is a massive trigger for mood episodes, so I do struggle with job instability and anxiety when it comes to finding work. For the moment I can only improve my skills and my resilience to stress, as well as my confidence. It will help me tackle the job problem better in the future.

Many people can’t work because of mental illness, and I totally understand why: consistency is not our best trait despite of our often very ambitious and strong work ethics. When it comes to work, bipolar is a double edged sword. I will leave you another link that I recommend checking.**

MEDICATION

Oh, the fun of taking mood stabilizers, psychotropics, and antidepressants! Each category coming with their side effects, a good analysis of benefits versus side effects is the key. I made the mistake of sticking to one medication out of fear, even if the side effects were horrendous. The trial and error to find the best combination of chemicals that work for your brain is exhausting, that’s why extra medical support is advised when patients try new medications.

I also find that people believe that medication will completely get rid of their mood episodes, when in reality medication only makes the episodes less intense so we can manage them better. There are no magic pills that make our mood swings disappear (I wish there were!).

If medication helps even a little bit I consider that it’s worth trying, but at the end of the day medication is only one of the tools we can use to make our roller coaster ride smoother.

I do take my medication religiously, but my mood swings are still here. I can only manage them better with the use of medication and therapy.

I know that for a lot of people accepting medication is hard, but I will always be an advocate for using all the tools that can help you in fighting this illness.

All these being said I can only advise you to research, learn, and listen to your bodies. Understanding how this illness affects you and knowing more about the science behind it gives you power to tackle it. I am continuously learning about myself and Bipolar Disorder so I can live with it, and also be able to give informed advice to the ones who might relate to this problem.

*http://psycheducation.org/treatment/bipolar-disorder-light-and-darkness/the-biological-clock-light-and-lithium/

**http://www.hypomanicedge.com/

Eating the Sky

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Two people, two stories, different backgrounds, ages, and cultures. A dialogue through our experiences with Bipolar/Manic Depressive disorder.

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