Career Crossroads
The Burnout Bomb: Time is Ticking
The dangerous comforts of an ill-suitable job
After dedicating over four years to training, working, and improving my translation business, I have come to realize that it gives me access to way more opportunities than just translation. However, despite my continuous pursuit of linguistic knowledge, tools, and practices, I still did not feel confident enough to quit my day job. This decision had significant consequences for me.
What I do is work in customer service (which is now being sugarcoated as “customer success”) at a bank, dealing with higher-income clients (or at least they think they are), solving all sorts of financial, system, and credit problems. A the same time, I’m in charge of pushing the sales of financial products.
I stuck with it because, well, it is a high-paying, secure job. And I would eventually get out of it, I just needed to secure more translation clients, that’s it. Wait until I have made more down payments on my mortgage. Or perhaps finish my Master’s in Linguistics first. Or wait until Medium finally accepts Brazilians into their Partner Program. Then I’ll quit.
Handling 12+ client queries simultaneously (via phone and chat services) in a timely manner while also dealing with their anger and frustration did not work well with my ADHD. Over the past year, I’ve had a tough time managing social media effectively because all those new message notifications make me anxious. My mind thinks I’m at work and someone is freaking out over something they think is super urgent. Recently, I’ve even been getting alerts on my Apple Watch about irregular heartbeats, and that was a real eye-opener for me.
I was prescribed a two-week break from my job. I felt scared because it indicated that the doctor believed my situation was worse than I had initially thought.
Another thing: what would I do after those two weeks (that are currently about to end)? Nothing would really change, the job tasks would be the same, and I would probably end up exploding again.
At first, I saw these two weeks as a deadline: I tried to put my translation business affairs in order. By that, I meant trying to complete all the pending tasks that I had planned for my business, updating my website, doing some pending accounting, trying out more stuff on Medium, and trying to prospect more clients.
All these things were oddly relaxing, as I felt the joy of doing exclusively what I love.
I noticed an improvement in my social phobia: I was able to message and even call some friends, have daily long conversations with my husband, and even journal a bit more.
Is it really worth going back to my job? Holding on to this idea that I have to wait for the optimal moment to quit to avoid bumps in my monthly income?
Dead people can’t work.
That is what a cardiologist said to me months ago, and it has resonated with me. That day job is so mind-consuming that I always need more hours at home doing nothing, just to decompress. I have had no time for myself, for exercising, for being present in my family and friends’ lives.
I don’t understand how people who take medical leave for burnout can come back to work. It seems dishonest, especially in my situation. I have little control over changing my job tasks and schedule, so they will probably stay the same and have the same impact.
That’s why I’ve decided not to go back.
Although I have more to figure out, I must remember how lucky I am to have a backup plan that lets me work on something I truly believe in. Now, I just need to find the courage to take that leap into the unknown, similar to The Fool card from tarot. It’s evident that my current involvement isn’t suitable for me.
If you ever find yourself in a similar situation, it’s important to know that it requires strength and self-awareness to make any decisions. Trusting my instincts and acknowledging that my current direction is not right for me was an important step towards finding a better path — I just wish I had realized it sooner. Prioritizing our mental and physical well-being should always be a priority, and pursuing a career that aligns with our passion and values is worth taking the leap into the unknown.
Thank you for reading my insights. Follow me and stay tuned for whatever else I’ll end up deciding to pen down next!
