Time…..
As a child I was keenly aware of time. Time to go to bed…time to wake up…time to eat …time to go to school…time go out and play…time to come in… Time was a concept that was defined by things to do and not to do.
I watched my parents age; and with that came many talks about time. From my experience I knew that time would gently remind me of when it was time for me to hit certain milestones in my life. There would be a time to get married which would be followed by a time to have children. There would be a time to build my life around a husband and these little children and there would be a time to let those children go. I then would share my parents’ wisdom about time with my children. I hoped that they too would have the comfort of time and recognize the gentle nudges time would give them as they set off onto lives of their own.
The most difficult part of time was when time let me know under no uncertain circumstances that it was time to say goodbye. Time to say goodbye on any level has never been easy for me. I remember when my veterinarian told me that time would let me know about the decisions that had to be made about my beloved pets. Time has reminded me to say goodbye to people in my life that no longer played a positive role. Time has pushed me to say goodbye to a college where for four years I lived a life that even after thirty seven years I can still visualize filled with fun and love and even learning. Time had pushed me to say goodbye to a life of caring and nurturing my children into a life of nurturing and caring for my parents. Eventually it made me say goodbye to my parents as well. Time also made me say goodbye to a sister in law I wasn’t ready to lose. Time has been my friend and sometimes I think I have looked at time as my enemy.
At fifty five I no longer define time or let time define me. I live in the day and I try to practice gratitude for time. I respect time and I am loving what time has given me. Time has given me patience and has reminded me that even in the most difficult of situations time will pass and the situation will change. I think the greatest gift time has given me is acceptance. Time has reminded me that the past is just that the past. I don’t have to relive it and I can’t change it so I can only accept it. Time moves faster than I can understand so I will honor time and treat it as the cherished gift it is.
