Eugenia Beh

…on-black crime; the fact that you too grew up poor; or the Irish were slaves — then I say fuck you! I’m not getting paid to get you to see things from a different perspective. I don’t get a dime to try to teach you empathy. My bank account isn’t changing by going back and forth trying to educate you and pull you out of your ignorance.

You aren’t just defending an individual in these debates. And you are not defending men as a whole. You are defending this behavior. You are fighting for its continuation, and the continuation of the harm that it does to countless women. You are fighting for your right to be the next man who chooses to ignore multiple verbal and nonverbal signals from a woman saying that she does not want to have sex with you. You are fighting for your right to be the next man who calls a car for a crying woman who you’ve made to feel degraded and used. You are fighting for your right to be the next man that she’s talking about when she tells her friends about how traumatic her evening was.

What we need to talk about are the cultural conversations rising up around the Ansari incident. What we need to talk about is training men to read women the way women have been trained to read me…