Prequelandia: Ascendant

“There are no new ideas. Only that which has come before.”

Thaddeus Howze
Nov 2, 2015 · 3 min read

Welcome to Re-bootopia

A senior exec and a junior exec discussing the next year’s programming. The junior exec looks flustered at a stack of product he seems reluctant to pitch. He sits while his boss looks in a hand mirror and plucks expensive spinach from between his teeth.

“Sir, I have the list.”

“Say it. Say the litany first.”

“Yes sir. Prequelandia Ascendent! — There is no new. Only that which has come before.”

“Amen. Now let’s make this quick, I’ve got a facial in ten.”

“Yes sir. There is a new show being optioned. The Greatest American Hero.

“I’ve heard of that before. I think it was a sandwich show. Was it good?”

“No sir, you’re confusing the new show with a Cooking Network program, ‘Greatest American Sandwich Heroes’. Anyway, yes sir, people loved it. It was an 80s show about a guy who finds an alien supersuit and attempts to learn how to use its powers.”

“I say again, was it good?”

“The idea tests good in our newest demographics. Mostly because their superhero-addled minds can’t seem to get enough of White Guys in Capes.”

“And we haven’t already rebooted it because?”

“Because superheroes were passé by the time we thought about doing it again in the 90’s and now past the peak of the reign of the superhero era, as they sputter and gasp their way into the record books, it seems like the perfect time to put out a hero who barely understands how his super-suit works. I think we can make it fresh.”

“Sounds like small screen gold. It’s 2015 for God’s sake, let’s get it a new coat of paint! See if you can find somebody with an expressive face, not to young, not to old.”

“Benedict Cum…”

“Don’t you dare say his name.”

“But sir…”

“Don’t make me say it.”

“He’s box office gold.”

“Star Trek: Into Darkness.”

“I understand sir. I’ll send Denise in.”

The junior exec leaves the room and ushers the esthetician in behind him. All in all, a good meeting.

After last week’s debacle, with his boss having the wonderful idea of putting ‘Sanford and Son’s’ Redd Foxx and famed comedian Andy Kaufman on tour in holographic format, he wasn’t sure what crappy idea he would come up with next. This one seems pretty harmless.

Maybe we’ll make the Greatest American Hero a woman this time…

“Prequelandia: Where nothing’s really new, so nothing ever changes.”

Thaddeus Howze is a California-based technologist and author who has worked with computer technology since the 1980’s doing graphic design, computer science, programming, network administration and IT leadership.

His non-fiction work has appeared in numerous magazines: Huffington Post, Gizmodo, Black Enterprise, the Good Men Project, Examiner.com, The Enemy, Panel & Frame, Science X, ComicsBeat.com, and Astronaut.com. He maintains a diverse collection of non-fiction at his blog, A Matter of Scale.

Thaddeus Howze

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Author | Editor | Futurist | Activist | Tech Humanist | http://bit.ly/thowzebio |http://bit.ly/thpatreon

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