Grief…a Teenagers perspective
5. Nobody Knows
So the final stage of grief is meant to be acceptance. I can honestly say after 18 months I am nowhere near acceptance. Do I recognise my Dad is no longer here — yes! Do I recognise no amount of anger, hurt, guilt, regret or bargaining will bring him back — yes! However I do not ACCEPT anything. I am renaming this stage RECOGNITION. Acceptance means “the action of consenting to receive or undertake something offered”. I do not consent to undertake what is being offered. I’m not ready to accept and you know what? That’s ok! I can take as little or as long as I need as this is MY grief journey and no one else’s. No one can tell me to move on, or that he wouldn’t want me to feel like this. Sorry, but my Dad can’t have an opinion on how I process his death and people who say these things although having good intentions all it does is frustrate and place pressure on my already crumbling shoulders. For those of you who might be going through something similar my advice to you is to do what you must to survive. For it is survival to live once you have loved and lost. It is surviving the rest of your days without a parent who stood in your corner and always supported you and loved you just for being you. It is surviving each and every future day on this earth without them.