Minions are actually good

I haven’t seen that movie and never will, but this is the sum of information I’m going off of in this Medium article: Minions are those yellow characters that seem to be everywhere now and the whole point of them is that they’re like a million of them and they all take pride in being skilled at blue collar jobs like carpenter, janitor, or something like that.

The point of the whole thing, now that I’m writing this, seems almost like the point of Fight Club: a sort of call to the unseen masses of the world to recognize their power and rise up in a certain way, although whereas in Fight Club it’s played as this kind of adolescent boy macho nihilist porn, Minions seems to be more interested in showing its characters as these goofy, relatable, what-are-ya-gonna-do type of comedy….minions.

This sticks out to me because, especially in light of movies like Kingsman: The Secret Service, Kick-Ass, and all the rest of the comic book shit (as well as the Paper Towns thing of showing kids as these characters trapped in the suburbs when they’ve been promised some other, extra-ordinary existence), movies tend to only glamorize these unattainable, even impossible, ways of being. Spider-man tells its kid viewers that to be special and make a difference you have to have this “great power.” Minions tells them you just have to go to your shitty job every day and, oh yeah, actually it’s not shitty, it’s fun. Why not leave the 16-year-olds walking out of the theater all excited to do a great job working at McDonalds? They’re seeing all the movies anyways.

I dunno, maybe 16-year-olds aren’t seeing this movie, but younger is probably better anyways, because they’re more impressionable. Which brings up another important point: there is a certain reading of this whole thing that says it’s this eerie totalitarian propaganda meant to condition the next generation so it’ll be easier to make them work in the tank factories when the time comes.

Eh fair enough. You could say it’s kind of cynical to hold this all up as a virtue of Minions, but I ask you: is it more cynical than doing all the mental work required to pretend I’m not right?

Minions are good. Thank you.