Dear Econ, Special Edition 1: Special Op-Ed

Econ
Econ
Sep 8, 2018 · 4 min read

Note: This article was not actually written by an RD2L admin but by me. It is definitely not written by Truckwaffle. Unless I am Truckwaffle (which I’m not, but if I was it would be).

Dear Readers,

We here at Dear Econ (well me really, since I’m the only one who writes this) occasionally feel the civic duty to convey important information about life, liberty, and the pursuit of memes. Today is one such day.

I am still taking your reader questions, but have opted to publish a special mini-edition of Dear Econ. My column received a letter from a senior RD2L admin whose identity is kept secret to protect his soft, smooth waffle exterior.

The author of this article is a complete secret known to all.

The article has been edited to meet the journalistic and stylistic standards of this dumpster fire of a dating column

Opinion: I am part of the Resistance inside the Matieu Administration

I work for the admin but also-inebriated goons and I have vowed to thwart parts of his agenda and his best inclinations.

Admin Matieu is facing a test to his administration unlike any other. Whether it is internally from the threat of a Smacktrickian revolution to the possibility of a return to Ransomtatorship, there are threats around every corner. We admins have taken the liberty to prevent the most dangerous parts of his agenda from going forward.

To be clear, ours is not the popular “resistance” of the EU division. We want Matieu to succeed, unlike our EU counterparts that want Mikel to play Alchemist on 200 ping. But we believe our first duty is to shitpost, and so here we are spreading the dankness.

The root of the problem is the polarbomb. The polarbomb has always been one of the most established institutions in Monday, dooming a team with the player Polarburied and waiting to see how long until the bomb goes boom. Matieu made the decision to defuse the polar bomb, leaving us only with the KC alternate account bomb and the “Lala Time vs. Overtime work schedule” missile.

:’(

I have chosen to speak out on the condition that this article remains anonymous and Econ does not disclose that I am truckwaffle. I am sure no one will figure out that I, Truckwaffle, wrote this article because of all the Truckwaffle impostors floating around. Yet again, I am sure our players are way too dumb to figure out that it was indeed I, Truckwaffle, who wrote this article.

Take foreign policy: In public and in private, Admin Matieu shows a preference for memers and spammers, such as BSJ and Econ, and has shown little appreciation for community members who tirelessly spread the core foundations of RD2L: Rage quitting, vile chatter and all around toxicity such as KC Malakai.

Sometimes, it feels like the only steady hand guiding us is stroking itself grimly in a lobby somewhere. Also, Diaspora left and now the admin team is a total sausage fest. I’m not talking about a Weisswurst sausage or a Bratwurst here, I’m talking about those cheap sausages you get at the Wal-Mart grocery store that consist of ground up whatever happened to die on the farm that day.

I don’t want to see your sausage dancing

Diaspora put it best in her departure: “Fuck this, I’m out.” All memers should heed her words and aim to our common goal of uniting terrible AFK junglers with 2000 MMR mid tryhards forced to be ward bitches.

There is a quiet resistance within the administration of people choosing to put shitshows first. But the real difference will be made by everyday trolls rising above reason, failing to recognize dissenting opinions and resolving to shed the labels in favor of a single one: RD2Lers.


New Announcement: Dear Econ Fundraising Campaign

I’ve decided to seek sponsorship for my column since none of you bums read Medium premium articles. Here are my new sponsorship tiers (all in U.S. Dollars and adjusted for inflation based on 2018 prices):

Tier 1: $10,000,000,000,000: Get your own country.

Econ will hire a private military group to conquer a small island country with essentially no military of your choosing.

Tier 2: $50,000,000,000,000,000: Get your own planet.

Econ will invest a sizable portion of money in developing proprietary space tools to colonize a local planet.

Tier 3: $500,000,000,000,000,000,000: Get your own solar system.

Same as Tier 2, but more planets and some moons and stuff thrown in.

Tier 4: $999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999: Get your own universal reality.

This could be yours for the low price of $999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999

Econ will invest in the creation of alternative quantum space-times for your personal use. Get your own personal universal reality and become a god over reality itself!


That’s it for this week’s special mini-edition of Dear Econ. Feel free to PM me your reader questions on discord and I’ll answer them and some indeterminate point in the future.

Econ

Written by

Statistician, Gamer, Fed Watcher, Activist Investor

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