Before The Law if Kafka lived in space

In Gadavinka, a planet off the Crescent Barrier, the Census Committee convenes once every Gadavinka year (which translates approximately to every 8 Earth days) in order to count the number of people on the planet. You may get to thinking that Gadavinka is riddled with bureaucracy, a deep-seated and detrimental component of its otherwise smooth running. You will be wrong, and spectacularly so, but as always the people of Gadavinka commend those who try. Despite their huge capacity for breeding rapidly and with reckless abandon they are an optimistic race, with suicide rates among the lowest in the quaternity. Indeed, the Gadavinkan people do not need to kill themselves with the Census Committee convening every year like it does — the Gadavinkan people are also known to be profoundly lucky, and when you’re suicidal on the planet Gadavinka it’s only a matter of sitting very still and conspicuous for eight days — my apologies, a year — and the Census Committee will go ahead and pop, then tick, you off.

It was agreed upon that Censuses be taken across the quaternity when the quaternity was still an octetry and the first Agreements Department was formed by the Formation Faculty — the Census Committee would meet in the capital of the planet, and be dispatched to the corners of the (admittedly spherical) planet, shooting one in every ten people (or otherwise) they found. When the Census Committee reconvened they would wipe the blood (or methanol) from their hands, add up the number of people (or otherwise) shot, and then multiply the number by ten in order to determine the total population of the planet.

So far the method had proven foolproof and it kept the Gadavinkans at least alert, optimistic and prone to bouts of suicide which if not resolved within a week would be resolved in eight days.