Personally, if I were to hold open a door for someone, it would be because we both approached the door at the same time and not as way of doing something for someone to create feelings of self-esteem in myself.
As I’m now 65, I find that both younger men and women often hold the door for me. Good manners, I assume (North Carolina).
It is distressing to hear of the bad behavior of both men and women in their attempt to have others follow THEIR expectations of how to behave.
If I am around men who behave in such subtle or obvious ways, I DO say something to them, if I notice (seeing as how I don’t always have my “feminine perspective”viewpoint engaged).
I AM buddhist (former childhood devout Lutheran) so living in awareness is part of the path that I follow. I attribute a lot of these subtle activities (and many of the obvious ones) to not being aware of why we do things, or even NOTICING that we do these things.
Your article has to help somewhat, too, especially since it’s not written in an agressive, negative manner. I find it best to tell someone what I perceive as my problem, describe it well (you did) and ask for ideas. Even a good therapist will ask questions to get a patient thinking instead of TELLING them how to think.
Good intentions for extra patience (with humans, most needed) on your journey. :)