Adventures in Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation: Prologue
I have struggled with depression for as long as I can remember — my entire adult life, at the very least. For a variety of reasons, my treatment has been sporadic and ineffective for most of that time; only in the last three or four years have I had consistent mental health care, and even that hasn’t always been effective. I have a great relationship with my therapist now, and my meds are pretty well managed, but I still go through life under a black cloud. I have trouble maintaining any sort of activity or interest, and my wife lives in constant fear that she will come home from work to find me dead.
So, having recently gone through a protracted and severe period of depression symptoms, I finally got approval from my insurance company for a full six-week course of TMS, or Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation. In roughly 12 hours, I will go in for my initial mapping and first treatment. In order to keep a record of whatever mental changes I might experience, and to increase public awareness and understanding of this treatment, I will be writing a series of short articles as I progress through these next few weeks.
The following video explains the basics of the process, and was produced by the actual doctor I will be seeing:
I will return after the initial session with my first impressions.
Mood (baseline): I feel weary, and while I have some hope for the future, it feels faint and distant. Even after my most recent medication change, I am often not far from bursting into tears. My self-worth is very low. I literally cannot imagine not feeling at least kind of sad; it’s all I know.