How to Crush a Maid-of-Honor Toast
My wife, Eunice, gave a matron-of-honor toast and so many people came up to me afterward and told me that she crushed it.
The truth is she asked me for help and I thought I’d write a short post on how I guided her speech so other maid/matron-of-honors can crush theirs too.
First, why write a post on just maid-of-honor speeches?
Why not a best-man speech too?
To be frank, 10 out of 10 weddings I’ve been to, the best-man speech out-shines the maid-of-honor’s. Here’s a few systemic circumstances why:
- Wedding coordinators (at least the ones in California) schedule the best-man to go after the maid-of-honor. This is like doing a cheering contest. Whoever goes after usually has motivation to out-do who goes first.
- People expect maid-of-honor speeches to be emotional and sappy and expect the best-man to be funny. That already sets up the maid-of-honor at a disadvantage. Funny is always easier.
- There’s too much to say. The bride and maid-of-honor are usually very close so it’s impossible to summarize their relationship in a short toast resulting in the speech to drag on.
I did not want this to happen to my wife.
So, I helped her crush it. Here are my winning tips:
1. Call for Attention
The biggest mistake a maid-of-honor can make is to not call for attention. At a wedding, people are in the middle of eating dinner or cake, having side conversations, or laughing at the photo booth.
Even a simple, “Hello Everyone! My name is…” or “Good evening (pause) good evening (pause)” until you have people’s attention.
I’ve seen too many bridesmaids make this mistake. They start their toast in the middle of the commotion and fail to earn the attention of the audience.
To avoid this, pause, wait for a lull, and give a strong greeting. “Hello!” =)
2. Pick One Story
I know there are too many memories to pick from, but pick one memory with both the bride and the groom. This way you can knock two birds at once.
Too many times you hear a maid-of-honor go on and on about their relationship with the bride and then tell the groom, “Uh, take care of her okay?”
As someone who sits in the audience, this is incredibly awkward. You want to honor both the bride and the groom.
You can start by saying,
“My favorite memory of you both was when we…”
Tell the story with joy, exuberance, with color and gusto! And if you really want to crush it, make sure there’s a punchline at the end of the story.
For example, my wife told a story about how the groom fell off a cliff and she thought he died, but then (after a pause) she heard, “I’m okay…I’m okay.” The entire audience laughed. Do you know why? Because she intentionally made that part of the story the punchline. She intentionally paused knowing people will be in suspense wondering what happened. She even did a small impression of the groom. It was glorious.
Pick one story. Use both the bride and the groom. Make sure there’s a punchline at the end.
Boom.
3. Under 3 Minutes
It’s a toast, it’s not really a speech. People did not come to hear a speech, they came to party. It’s meant to be a toast. Somehow we made it into a speech.
If you keep the toast under 3 minutes, trust me you will win and people will love it. Short and sweet.
This is the hardest part. I timed my wife, she was going into 5 minutes. I told her to keep cutting it to 3. She did. And she won. She crushed it.
4. Raise Your Glass
Remember to swiftly go into saying “So let’s raise our glass…” or “Now, if you will raise your glass.”
So many forget this part and it’s awkward. I’ve been to weddings where they just handed the mic to the emcee without actually doing the toast. Please don’t make that mistake.
Tell your story, make your short remarks and swiftly go into the transition: Raise Your Glass!
Oh my gosh, you will crush it, I promise you! And again, my wife executed this flawlessly and yes, she crushed it. I was a very proud husband that day.
You can follow her on instagram @euniepark, she’s an uber talented illustrator/letterer for deeplyrooted magazine.
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