Kicking Me While I’m Down

As I sit here, nursing my wounds from life’s latest round of sucker punches, I can’t help but wonder: why do people kick you when you’re down?

It’s a question I’ve been grappling with as I navigate through a rough patch in my life. But what’s even more perplexing is that while some faces kicking me are familiar, others are unexpected. It’s like a plot twist in a movie you never saw coming.

We’re told to worry about others, to be there for them in their times of need. But the moment someone musters the courage to admit they’re not okay and need help, they’re met with disbelief and gaslighting. Suddenly, they’re expected to snap out of it and be “better,” as if emotional pain is something you can just switch off.

I’ve always been the one to pick myself up, dust off the dirt, and carry on. It’s a skill I’ve honed over 29 years of navigating life’s rollercoaster. But this time feels different. This time, I have a brother, a partner, and a few true supporters who are there for me, even if they can’t be there 24/7.

As for the ones who haven’t been there or have failed me, I’ve reached a breaking point. I’m tired of feeding into relationships where someone’s only purpose is to feel superior to me. It’s exhausting to constantly stand my ground, to constantly defend my worth, especially when all I want to do is be kind, and in the very least heard.

But here’s the thing: kindness shouldn’t come at the cost of our own well-being. For too long, I’ve allowed others to trample over me, to hurt me, under the guise of being nice. But I’ve realized that being nice doesn’t mean being a doormat.

So, I’m drawing a line in the sand. I’m done sacrificing my happiness for the sake of toxic relationships. I’m done pretending that everything is okay when it’s not. I’m reclaiming my power and setting boundaries, not to be mean, but to protect myself.

Because after 29 years of being hurt by people who weren’t supposed to harm me, I’ve had enough. It’s time to prioritize my own well-being, to surround myself with those who lift me up instead of tearing me down.

And if that means walking away from people who only see me as a stepping stone to elevate themselves, then so be it. I may hate hurting anyone, but I’ve learned the hard way that sometimes, the most important person to be kind to is yourself.