Enjoy Pursuing Your Goals
The best thing you can do while pursuing any goal that you have in your life is to feel really good while taking the steps towards that goal. In order for this to happen, you just need to do 3 things:
- Make your goal very specific
- Think about the goal and the possible steps to get there over and over again and take those steps when you feel it’s appropriate to do so
- Relax efficiently whenever you get into negative states like frustration, anger, boredom, disappointment, etc. and continue taking the steps towards your goal only after you transition from any of these states to a very pleasant feeling of relaxation
Even though the aforementioned method might seem simple, it’s actually very powerful because it leverages the tremendous power of the subconscious mind. This part of the mind is the warehouse of everything that you see, hear, feel, do, think, etc. and by repeatedly thinking about your goal and the possible steps to achieve it, you keep searching for solutions in this enormous ocean of resources and thus you get ever clearer ideas regarding the steps that you should take.
Furthermore, after a number of repetitions of this process, the subconscious mind will run it in the background continuously and thus you will feel more and more compelled to take the steps that you have thought of, not to mention the fact that you will get new ideas even when you’re not consciously running the process in your mind. Also, because the subconscious mind cannot tell the difference between imagination and reality, it will think that you have already gone through the entire process of achieving your goal multiple times and this will give you a tremendous amount of confidence that you can actually get there.
What About the Relaxation?
The purpose of relaxing every time you find yourself in a negative state is to be able to get back to a pleasant state so that you can continue on the way towards your goal with a lot more joy and efficiency. When you feel good, the communication with your subconscious mind works much, much better.
The Most Efficient Way to Relax
In order to relax efficiently whenever you get into a negative state, you’ll have to use a method of progressive relaxation. This type of relaxation can be done in two ways: fast and slow. Most of the times you’ll do the fast version and when you see that the negative states keep coming back again and again you’ll do the slow version.
The most important thing to realise about doing this relaxation is that if you focus on how you’re letting a certain part of the body relax instead of just letting it relax, the relaxation effect will be a lot more powerful.
SLOW RELAXATION: you think of the number 10 and you focus on how you’re letting the scalp relax, 9 and focus on how you’re letting the forehead relax, 8 and focus on how you’re letting the neck relax and so on until you reach 1 and you focus on how you’re letting the feet relax and 0 focusing on how you’re letting the entire body relax. On this last number, it’s of paramount importance to keep your attention on how you’re letting the entire body relax until you feel a very pleasant feeling of relaxation. The pause between the numbers must be at least 2–3 seconds.
FAST RELAXATION: same as the slow relaxation only that the pause between the numbers is very small so the counting becomes very fast. The goal of the fast relaxation is to send a relaxing wave through the body and, as in the case of the slow relaxation, when you get to 0 you must focus on how you’re letting the entire body relax until you feel a very pleasant feeling of relaxation.
While doing both types of relaxation, various thoughts will attempt to take control of your mind. This is not a problem though because if in those moments you bring your mind back to focusing on how you’re letting the different parts or the entire body relax, the relaxation process will continue as if it were never interrupted.
When to Do the Fast Relaxation
The general rule of thumb is to do the fast relaxation immediately when you feel any negative emotion. There will be many times though when the negative state will just keep coming back again and again and if you relax immediately in those moments it will feel even worse. So in those situations you just need to let the negative emotion manifest itself for a while, sometimes even until the point where it overwhelms you for a bit but not too much because otherwise you’ll lose the joy, passion and eventually even the willingness to move in the direction of your goals.
When to Do the Slow Relaxation
When you see that a negative state keeps coming back stronger and stronger and just by doing the fast relaxation you are not able to get back to a consistent pleasure state, you need to take a bit more time to do the slow relaxation. This can happen anytime, anywhere but you’ll need at least 2–3 minutes of quiet time in order to do the slow relaxation efficiently.