And still be a good person
“To be wronged is nothing, unless you continue to remember it.”
Some years ago I got cheated by someone. Born and raised catholic, I was taught to forgive others no matter what they did, since God is the one that will judge us all in the end. However, as much as I wanted to forgive that person I couldn't. The original sadness turned into anger, and I felt this knot in my stomach that seemed as hard to untangle as a fishing line that got off the fishing rod.
If you get upset by somebody else's wrong doing, you are the only one to lose
Feeling guilty about having the inability to forgive, I went to church to confess. I told the priest what I was going through: the anger flowing through my veins, the hard time to get good sleep without having negative feelings, the inability of forgiveness. The priest told me one simple thing that changed my life:
"You don't have to forgive everyone, you just have to let go and live your life fully."
If I kept on feeling upset and sad, the only one affected would be me. Our mind can play tricky games with ourselves, and even affect our physical stamina and overall wellness. Being able to clear our heads, looking at the bright side of things, and moving on with our life will bring much more happiness and fulfilment than feeling negatively towards someone.
Easier said than done, but it's starts with simple steps
There is no quick shortcut to let go. Some period of sadness and feeling angry will be there and torment us. However, shortening that period is the key to get back on track with our lives faster. Some of the things that helped me overcome this hard time faster were:
- De-prioritizing the event. I placed myself in the future, and realized that this would only be just another event among million others to be lived.
- Remembering that being sad or angry would only affect me and myself. Nothing good will come out of remembering bad things or having negative feelings, and nobody else will find out or be affected by it. Its a lose-lose situation.
- Staying close to my friends and family. Going for dinner, lunch, or even just calling over the phone some friends more frequently than before to speak about something else.
- Doing sports, eating healthy, and getting a good sleep. After doing these things every day, I saw immediate improvement. Sports release a huge amount of endorphins that act directly against your negative feelings and repel them. Even if you just take a stroll in the park for half an hour you will feel the change right away.
Patience, patience, patience
Be patient. Pain and anger will eventually go by and all of this will be just another anecdote in the thick book of anecdotes called life. I still haven't forgiven that person, but I have let it go. Since that time, I had experienced thousands of other anecdotes, some good, some bad, and they have all shaped me and helped me grow. Keep moving forward and when looking back give your best smile.