How becoming a father made me a better designer
Since I was a little kid I’ve brought with me two dreams: drawing for living and being a father. My path in design hugged my drawing wishes. Parenthood, on the other hand, was a recent achievement, for which I had not yet been prepared — a common feeling among many parents — and it is the reason for a daily transformation process.
I seek devoting time to my daughter (in quantity and quality), and this experience has sparked a series of observations and insights that have been enriched my daily life. Carrying these experiences to my profession, I could see not only similarities but directions for refining and improving my performance as a designer. Below are some points where dad and designer meet:
Never diminish a child
Being a father is not about knowing more than your children, but about knowing how to guide them through the discovery process. This is only possible when we respect them and seek to communicate with them assertively. It is common seeing adults who are impatient with babies in the face of the urge for repeating a play over and over again, or angry when something is put in their mouths right after their parents ordered not to.
During my career, I’ve seen many designers treat users as inferior people, unable to understand the obvious proposition in their solutions. Being a father made me see that babies are just like any user: they have different references from us, they don’t have an addictive point of view, and they can develop unforeseen ways of interactions. Our best proposals start with respect for these differences.
See the child interacting with the world
Currently, there is a multitude of parenting content: books, movies, TV shows, YouTube channels… There is a lot of accessible information from experts in psychology, pedagogy, pediatrics, to assist with the care of babies and children. However, the consumption of all this content is useless without contact with a child; theory loses meaning without practice. Babies are incredibly different from each other, and it is critical to accompany them to understand how they respond to the multiple stimuli they are exposed to.
Only by spending time together and really focusing on children can parents learn from them. It is exactly the same relationship between design practice and user research. The best references, refining of solutions, and any previous success do not replace research to learning about the user, their pains and their relationship with a product. Recognizing your user as the center of your work is the right way to design the best solution for her/his needs, aspirations and expectations.
All children have needs
This topic is fully related to Marshall B. Rosenberg’s book “Nonviolent Communication,” a watershed work not simply to better understand babies but anyone and everyone. The book assumes that everyone has unmet needs and respond to this fact.
Children don’t cry because they are testing their parents or trying to manipulate them into their own wishes. Children cry because they haven’t yet a deep understanding of the world, feel needs all the time and their natural mechanism to express their frustration of an unmet need is crying. This way of acting is not exclusive to the little ones. Like babies, frustrated users react by closing website pages, unsubscribing to services, uninstalling apps. Accepting that all unanticipated actions of a user are the result of unmet needs is the basis for redirecting your product to a better experience.
There is no definitive solution
The speed my daughter learns and develops every day is frightening. Cycles pass and change all the time, and the way I interact with her yesterday no longer serves today. As designers, we tend to believe that our solutions have great durability, which are the best answers to experience’s problems for a long time.
The truth is that not only do people change but the contexts in which they operate change all the time. Technology, access, economy, opportunity, interest. We are surrounded by a multitude of factors that make us review our ways of interacting with the world all the time. Therefore, our UX proposals need to be flexible enough to keep up with the flow of this relationship.
Becoming a father made me a better human being. And seeing the similarities in nonviolent communication, positive discipline, and user-centered design methodologies reinforce a respectful relationship where the reason for being a parent and a designer is at the heart of everything.
I still have a long road ahead — as a father and as a designer — of deconstruction and learning. But walking this path of constant discoveries feeds me and motivates me even more. I like to think that the designer’s mission is to accompany her/his users through the best experience. The achievement of their goal and their satisfaction are the designer’s rewards. Nothing more directly related to a father’s mission, who sees in his children’s achievements and happiness his greatest gratification.
Thanks to my wife, my everyday teacher, and my daughter, my reason for living. Very special thanks to my father, my example, my guide. If you still have a father, give him a hug.
