How I Fight With My Envious

Envious is a tricky emotion. It is easy to arise when we see someone achieve something even in a good intention. A popular misconception about envious is people always put jealous same as envious. Envious is refer to wanting something that deeply desires whereas jealousy is the fear of losing something. We will talk about jealous another day.

Envious is not problematic but over a period, it grows hatred. This could lead us to bad behaviour or miss some great opportunity because of the unhealthy mental state. Most of us can’t overcome it because we are not conscious about it and don’t admit it in the first place.

I must admit that envious had bothered me a lot on my early journey. I’m thirst to get recognition from others for what I’m doing. Therefore, when I heard someone receive a compliment from others, I will try to find something bad about that person to make myself feels better. What’s destructive is that I’m unconsciously doing this all the time.

Then one day, I come across to a quote from Buddha:

Don’t overrate what you have received, nor envy others. He who envy others doesn’t obtain peace of mind

From that moment, I realize how much this bad emotion disrupted my mind. Therefore, I decided to reprogram my mindset to deal with envious. Instead of letting envious ingest my kindness, I view it as a motivation. There are 4 steps for me to change the destructive emotion to the mindset that nourishes me.

First, I aware the rise of my envious, acknowledge my thirst for recognition. I never feel bad to my envious because I know this is my innate characteristic. Second, I make it as my motivation by telling myself if this is something people accomplished, then I can do it too. Third, I praise people from the bottom of my heart. Although this doesn’t do much with envious but giving compliment to people not only make others feels good, we feel happy too. Lastly, I ask for their advice. I turn envious to a chance to get closer to my dream.

Now, envious only work as a reminder of my goal. It strengthens my focus and giving me a chance to grow. Here’s the key, never compares to others. We like the stars in the sky, everyone looks the same but shine in their own unique way.

We come from different cultures and backgrounds. The only identical between ourselves is the potential inside our human body. Therefore, we might approach the same things but in different ways. There are no unchangeable rules for us to work with.

Grasping with this mindset will help us become more ease when dealing with envious. Envious is not harmful but if we leave it to grow by its own, it prohibits the path of becoming the better version of ourselves.

How you guys deal with your envious? Share with me if you have different opinion