CRYPTOCURRENCY NEWS 2/13/2018 — FORK EDITION

hello fellow hodlers of christ, i am here to give you the blessing of the most powerful god, satoshi, who loves you

Fork Time

this sunday potentially marks LITECOIN CASH the fork we’ve all been waiting for in the sense that nobody asked for it and it isn’t officially to do with litecoin! what a great day. all you have to do is give up all your private keys to your litecoin wallet that held litecoin in it and they’ll give you litecoin cash! what a deal! now it’s important to note you can theoretically put a bunch of LTC in a wallet, then transfer it away before giving the litecoin cash people your private keys but let’s be honest people aren’t going to be that smart for the most part and these guys are 100% going to steal an absolute shit ton of litecoins. alternatively they won’t and people will get litecoin cash.

litepay

something called litepay is coming too which allows you to use litecoin to pay for stuff which is great i suppose if you really like the idea of paying for shit with a cryptocurrency you mined insanely slowly using your work computer overnight while you hate your PIECE OF SHIT boss GARY who is a DICK

SHITIBANK

citibank, worried about illegal practices with credit and debit cards, is blocking all cryptocurrencies. i must be clear that citibank really does not like illegal practices with their cards for some reason. anyway, yeah, that kinda sucks i guess. maybe coinbase should actually do the instant transfer thing they said they activated last october but never actually did and the media straight up ignored it

He knew me not at first; he said I was a fishmonger. He is far gone. And truly, in my youth, I suffered much extremity for love, very near this

is it really a skill

freelancers are now claiming they have skill in bitcoin which reminds me of a time that this woman came into the PR firm I used to work at and said that she had skills at “netscape” and “ISPs”. i had a good laugh there and asked her what ISP stood for and she didn’t know, also whether she had used netscape, then what netscape was. this wasn’t me being insanely redditty i just genuinely wanted to know what was going on and she just said “my brother made it up” and i said “thank you for your honesty”

im tired of all the mining stories

i’m not going to list them but there was one about iceland energy and one about russians using nuclear computers or something and one about how malware got on the british government machines to mine it and i just do not care. i am sorry i don’t. botnets have been used in malware forever to do whatever shit people want them to do and now they’re doing it in a thing that generates money in a more linear fashion big fuckin deal whocares

JOHN MCAFFEE UPDATE: welcome to my COMPLETELY LAGITAMATE BUSINESS

there’s a lot to unpack here, i don’t usually write up John McAfee’s things but seriously this owns so much. He opened up a word document and took a screenshot versus typing it out — look at “it is no one’s business other than ours and the companies that we support” and see the blinking cursor. Dude you know you can just save word files right. Maybe use pastebin? everyone uses pastebin. i mean mcafee antivirus is something that only old people and Dell buys so it makes sense that Mcafee would act like an old person

Avviso Importante

BitGrail ceo Francesco Firano talked to CoinTelegraph about how $187 million of a coin nobody uses was stolen from their exchange. the tokens formerly known as Raiblcocks are now called Nano, which is exciting i’m sure for someone, apparently lost all this currency

apparently it’s also possible that Francesco’s company was insolvent, but that wouldn’t really explain anythin to do with the loss of the cryptos, which were apparently sent to another exchange. i don’t knwo what mercatox is and i’m not looking it up. some people are thinking it’s an exit scam

thoughts on exit scams

so i always wondered about when people say “IT’S A FREAKKIN EXIT SCAM” because honestly if a company decided to up and run away with, say, more than a few grand worth of BTC it’d be fairly easy to see if they sold it. I suppose they theoretically could sell it on the black market but at some point it’s gotta like, appear somewhere. that’s the blockchain ! that’s kind of the thing it does. anyway i haven’t really done any research here as it doesn’t strike me as the best search on record to look for “how to money laundering with bitcoin”

THE MONEY GENIOUS

DISCLAIMERS

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