You’re Not Crazy, but I don’t know what to do.
This story originally appeared at eedumas.com
You feel like everyone else is getting by, living a normal life, and you’re the only one aware of the world burning down around you. In your head you’re shouting “Fire! Fire!” but you feel nobody would listen. Everything you see on the internet, on your social sites, reminding you that all is fine and dandy, but you’ve still that that eerie feeling you’re being sold a false reality.
I’m here to say you are not crazy.
That doesn’t mean I know how to fix any of this.
You are experiencing that divide between knowing something is wrong and being able to talk about it. It’s taboo to talk about a problem without seeking a ready solution. Awareness is an uncomfortable place that people don’t like to sit in. Rather than feel empathy most would rather solve a problem and move on, never acknowledging the suffering that problem caused. But how can we fix something if we don’t know what’s wrong?
You are not crazy for feeling upset, worried, concerned, powerless. These are human feelings, and you are a human. These feelings will eventually drive action, or will be sublimated, censored, silenced. That’s something you always have control of, your voice.
That’s the good news, that you’re not imagining these feelings, that you have a right to them, that they mean something, and that you can share them.
Now for the bad news.
I can’t make these feelings go away. I can’t fix the problem. That’s on you, but not you alone. These feelings are that sign that something needs to change, but just as they are your warning light, they can be your fuel as well. You have the ability to find others who feel as you. You can have your voice heard. Your suffering is valid, and silence won’t solve it.
Those who censor, who silence people in pain, are effectively colluding with the people who caused it. By making you quiet, they want you to accept the pain you receive, devalue yourself and your experience, and go along with a way of life that has made you feel crazy. For the most part they are not malicious people, they are just more uncomfortable with acceptance, uncomfortable with awareness, uncomfortable feeling powerless. This is a chance to connect, to feel empathy for that discomfort of not knowing, to sit together in that dark and scary place of “I don’t know what’s next.”
Before we find answers, we need to find each other.
The pain of hundred, a thousand, a million people is not solved be one person. Do not try to bear that weight alone, it will break you in no uncertain terms. Together we can work together to find an answer, but first we need to be together. Compare the power of “I am not crazy” to “We are not crazy.”
I don’t know what to do, but together we might find out.
Evan Dumas likes to help people find a healthy mix of laughing and crying. Follow his Small Doses at eedumas.com