How Reading Buzzfeed Made My Life Better With this One Great Trick

Like most people, when I want to better myself I actively pursue some form of literature to help in the growth process. However, my recent searches have ended rather quick; tangled-up by the generic ideals of “X Ways To Feel Self Empowered.”

Ideals that give only reasons why I feel one way versus the way I wish to feel. Stripped down to a check list to determine if I match up with a happiness ideal. Or not.

These false ideals are the kind stacked up and disseminated in a perfected form: the list.

Exactly the way one would expect to find them out in their natural habit. You know this type. The bulleted, commonsensical, generic waste of bandwidth. One might even go so far as to call them “Signs.”

The “articles” blooming out of the self-perpetuating culture of “enlightened ones.” The Buzzfeed culture.

Yes. That type.

5 Signs Your Happy In Your Relationship. 8 Reasons Your Job Sucks. 7 Reasons To Change Your Sucky Job. How Yoga Taught Him This One Interesting Trick.

Basically, the big ‘ole “Let’s fuck off X’s bandwagon because Y’s ship has the better [insert generic anything here] trend and this is how I learned to do it.”

I despise all of it.

And I despise how my friends could be so blinded. How even one article could wander so astray and stumble over to my Facebook feed.

The recent uptick of these cultural marshmallow articles in my feed has led me to believe our culture does not realize how deep the Buzzfeed trough really is; how consuming just one article fattens you up like it’s 1984. So I’m going to tell you how bad it really is.

On the surface the articles are just an amalgamation of shallow, materialistic, superficial listicles. Until you click again. And again. And again.

And again.

Until you find yourself trapped in Lewis Carrol’s worst nightmare.

A Wonderland where a Coach purse sits proudly atop the Mad-Hatter’s head, classic Tweedledee & Tweedledum have been replaced by class-less Kylie & Kendall, and worst of all the Queen of Hearts is an off-brand iPhone case, parading angrily about the internet screaming she’s the next big thing you’ve never heard of.

However desirable the clickbait culture seems, one thing remains true: The trough is deep.

The Buzzfeed trough is South-end Mariana Trench deep.

Once you fall in, your only hope it to claw your way out. But clawing just shoves more “feed” into your open mouth. And just like the marshmallow challenge even the most powerful of screams are silenced. At the center, the weight of useless knowledge is debilitating.

The sheer pressure of being so near the trough’s dense core perpetuates the fattening cycle. More feed. Lots more. Feeding and consuming just in time for culling season, too. Because every day is culling season when it’s a Buzzfeed day.

It’s apparent Buzzfeed’s loyal, listicle-loving, cattle culture is oblivious to what they’re eating; oblivious to what’s really on their plate.

But still, they charge.

Outwards and onwards they go!

Stampeding forth into more articles, diving headfirst into the garbage compactor of the Death Star, a lethargic belly-flop, too high on culture swag, but ready to swallow more feed like a Wonkavator, sideways, and slantways, and backways…

So what was my “one interesting and easy trick?” Actually, it wasn’t easy at all. My finger got sore, but that didn’t stop me. I just kept unfriending. Clicking again. And again.

And again.

Taking all that clicking knowledge I had learned from the hell I was in until the Buzzfeed articles disappeared all together.

However, this method may not work for you. I’m am perhaps one of the lucky ones.

What remained when I was done, you ask? Surprisingly, the majority of my close friends were still there (along with a better feed).

Give it a try and see who of your friends are still around.