Episode 1: Makeup — On Women, by a man

A series about what I’ve learnt from all the women I’ve ever loved.

Every man has been through it. The looking to the bathroom and see her putting her makeup on. A shade of red here, a touch of pink powder there and lines of black to top it all off. We’ve all been there, wondering why she would go to such lengths when she is already so beautiful. It seems a lot of work — and it actually is, I was told a number of times — just for “looking better”.

And that’s what I have come to understand. For us, men, it’s just “looking better” and we don’t give it all that much attention when it concerns we looking better. But we have the nasty habit of immediately judging people and women in particular based on their looks. My guess is that it is an evolutionary thing, meant for men to be attracted to the best possible mate so the species can live on. Or something like that. What matters is that women are judged mercilessly by men and — spoiler alert — women. Yes, women judge other women’s appearance. I don’t really know the evolutionary reason behind that. What I know is the social pressure that is imposed on women is relentless. There are countless dicks that demand their girlfriends to look like Charlize Theron, way too many magazines that dictate that normal beauty is a mix between an impossible body, a heavenly face and some editing tweaks here and there. For fucks sake, even Charlize gets photoshopped. How can a woman feel beautiful if she is faced with such high expectations? Enter makeup.

Makeup, I have come to think of it, is a way for women to put on an instant (sic) mask of supposed beauty. To tweak some lines, focus this and distract from there just so their faces (and neck and sometimes cleavage) can become more like those impossible to meet standards. And that’s okay and not okay at the same time. I want all women to feel better about themselves, but also to know that they should not be required to look up to these beauty demands that are simply unreal. I want them to feel loved whether they put on makeup or not, because they are beautiful in their own way, no matter what it may be.

I have loved women for their looks, yes, but also for their intelligence, their wit, their gait sometimes, or that one time for the sense of belonging I felt with her. I have never fell in love with a girl for their ability with the lip gloss or the eyeliner.

There is a need for every man to tell the women in their lives that they love her, as she is putting makeup on. Make her feel loved, even before she has those sharp lines above the lashes (I know there is a name for that, but I guess no man would know it anyway).

That is what I’ve learnt about makeup with all the women I’ve ever loved.


On Women, by a man is series I am writing about — well, you guessed it, women. For that, I will be using all I’ve learnt dating, living and loving all the women I loved until now. If you liked this episode, why not share it, wait for the next one, or tell me what it is I should write about next? Thanks

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