I hate it here, but it’s nice and I have nowhere else to go. Not that I’m trapped or anything, I just really had nothing better to do than to come to this stinking apartment and stare at the smelly cat. At least there’s beer. Not good beer, just free beer, and free beer is almost as good as good beer. The owner is a moron who won’t let us smoke inside saying it will smell the whole place and it beats me since his ugly cat smells worst than any amount of cigarette. “And the ashes will stay all over the place!” as if he didn’t have sand spread all over the fucking floor. I don’t know why Greg keeps inviting me to come here. I was never nice to him yet he keeps giving me free beer. And women. For an old fat lad he surely knows a lot of hot mammas.
The doorbell rings three times, and none of those times I see a woman. No, just more smelly ugly men with huge beards each time. Now that’s 5 of us in this small apartment in an even smaller living room and I swear I’m going to puke anytime now. Greg opens the windows and I’m not sure how I’m glad since the wind is fucking cold and is coming all to the nape of my neck.
I’m drunk. And in comes a woman, finally. But it’s only one girl, she must be about 25 and has her bleached hair tied in a knot. I’m only noticing this first because I’m drunk and I can’t believe it when I see she’s not wearing anything but a scarf on the upper part. Huge boobs. I look around, and everyone is staring at them and we’re all so drunk that not even when she screams “hey!” and crosses her arms upon it we look away. What a bunch of pigs, she must be thinking. Well, the smell surely gave away anyway. She says her name a couple of times and I don’t listen. I’m sleepy as hell. Greg and the other pigs seem to be too, except for that guy, Jack? John?, whateverwashisname, he’s wide awake and talking to miss Boobs. I want a piece of that too and try to start a conversation despite whatever it is that they’re on about.
“Are those real?” I ask, and the answer was a disgusting look. Or maybe she is teasing me, I can’t tell the difference. I’m such a waste! Trash. Be different!
“I’m sorry, it was a bad joke. I didn’t hear your name, baby” I try again. She gets up, and now I noticed she covered her perfect huge boobs, probably sometime ago. She wears baggy pants. Seems comfortable. I wish they were tighter.
“Don’t call me ‘baby’. Don’t call me ‘darling’, or any other stupid thing you feel like it. If you do, I’ll burn your fucking tongue, you hear me? My name is Gabriela. And it’s Gabriela, not Gaby” she says that and takes the beer off my hand, drinks all of it, and throws it back on my lap.
“Bitch just drank my whole can of beer! Greg!”
“Just get another one, you whiny little shit.”
That was a first. Greg was always so nice to me, despite my ignoring of him. I get up and grab another beer. I look around the room. The TV was on, and Greg is watching it with the other two stinks, while wasshisname talks to Gabriela. How long have this been happening? I shake my head and there’s the cat, stupid, fucking cat, sitting on my couch. I want to kick him. I want to strangle that ugly shit out of my place. That’s it.
“Greg, tell this smelly thing to get out of my coach” I say.
“Your cat! It’s sitting on my coach!”
Greg looks at me as I had spit on his mom.
“The coach is mine, Charles. My coach. My cat. If they wanna be together, ya can’t separate them!”
“Greg, what the fuck? Why are you being so rude, why did you invite me if I’m not even going to fuck that girl and you won’t even let me smoke! Now you tell me the cat can sit in my fucking place, I’M OUT OF HERE!”
No one stops me. I open the door and I leave it open.