Beauty Within Pain

Standing in the openness of land surrounded by many loved ones. This place has meant a lot to me these past few years. Pain, sorrow, remembrance is all that comes to my head everytime i think of it. I remember standing there for 15 straight minutes dead silent weeping with tears being comforted by my cousin who was doing the same thing. My head wasn’t straight, I remember looking at my dad and seeing him in tears was something I wasn’t use to. The birds were chirping and all i kept thinking about was how I never wanted to go back to this place. The grass was so green but the most beautiful thing that calmed me was this small area that had a bridge with water beneath it. The flowers and plants were beyond breathtaking and I didn’t think such a sad place could be this lit up. The fish were so graceful in the pond, the one I remember most were the huge orange koi fish swimming around the pond not having to worry about anything I had to worry about at the time. The smell of this place smelled like fresh air, really strong perfume, trees. I remember looking from left to right and sometimes would see a car pass by on the narrow roads. I guess you can say it is supposed to be a peaceful place but for me, at that exact time finding peace felt nearly impossible for me to do. It was also a really hot day. It was mid July and I remember that I felt like I was going to pass out because I was so hot and overwhelmed.. Then the worst moment of it all, that’s when it hit me and that is why this place has became a huge part of my life. As they were raising my Aunt into the wall, so many thoughts were rushing my head. I broke out into loud tears because I then realized that was the last time I would ever be in any type of her presence again. She was gone. That was her new “home” sure I could visit her but that was the last time and last place I ever felt so alive and there with her. That is why this place is so important to me.