
My heart broke multiple times today.
It’s amazing that something so shattered can splinter into even smaller pieces.
Honestly, I thought my heart was numb after so many years of sorrow. But then I tripped over a jagged piece of emotion that left me bleeding in a way I didn’t think was possible anymore.
I was explaining to my parents about the “new” custody agreement and how I was at the same time horrified and humiliated by it.
And I started to cry.
I had been numb for months and yet there at that small round kitchen table, I started crying full gut wrenching sobs and I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t stop for hours.
It’s ups and downs.
I spend a little “authorized” time with my kids, they speak freely for a minute, and I get hopeful.
And then there are days like today, where I can’t get a response from anyone, not even to the most basic questions, like “when will you be back in the state?” and I get hopeless.
It hurts.
