The Coptic #MeToo Era Has Finally Dawned. Here’s Why You Should Care
An opinion essay examining sexual violence and the Coptic Church.
What first comes to mind when you think of Egypt? The desert sunsets and sand dunes? The magnificent yet monstrous pyramids filled with ancient relics? Egypt is one of the oldest civilizations in the world and has survived millennia of tyranny, war, religious upheaval as well as many social and cultural shifts. While the population of the North African country is comprised of about 85 to 90 percent of Sunni Muslims, the remaining 10 to 15 percent is full of Coptic Orthodox Christians. The Copts are one of the largest Christian groups in the Middle East and are direct descendants of the kings and queens that ruled in Pharaonic times. But if you ask anyone off the street who a Coptic person is, they will most probably look at you with a befuddled look on their face. While the Copts are a minority and a marginalized group in Modern Egypt, its members fully merged their religion and nationality together into one identity.
The Coptic Church is so ingrained into the Egyptian culture that it has transcended past its mother country and into the United States, Canada, England and beyond. The culture prides itself on being a close knit community and because the group is so small around these parts, Copts stick together through (mostly) thick and thin. You have a large group of friends that you see almost on a daily basis and you’re at church at least three times a week. Young boys and girls who grew up in the church are taught to keep Jesus close to their hearts, love thy neighbor, be charitable; as well as other common deep-rooted Christian morals and beliefs. The church is the epicenter of Egyptian-Coptic society; especially in the Western world and not just a place to exercise one’s religious convictions. It’s a hub for social interaction, a center to find a spouse and even a place to find your livelihood. The church has exceeded its sole purpose of being a religious institution and went beyond.
Now let’s quickly shift gears from that little history lesson and jump to 2002. The Boston Globe published a series of articles detailing the alleged sexual abuse of minors by several priests from the Roman Catholic Church. The scandal rocked both readers and the community alike and became a sensationalized piece of journalism that was ultimately turned into the Oscar-winning 2015 film, Spotlight. The accusations spanned decades and were made by thousands of accusers. A religious institution that is seemingly supposed to be a safe haven for believers, now became a tainted space. The outcome of the newspaper’s investigation resulted in several lawsuits against the church clergy and thrusted the subject of sex abuse into the limelight.
Fast forward to 2017. The #MeToo movement rapidly swept throughout Hollywood and the world. Disgraced movie mogul Harvey Weinstein was accused by over 80 women for sexual abusing them and the allegations sparked the #MeToo social media campaign. Many survivors spoke out about their stories and alleged they were victims of sexual violence and its variants. They shined more light into their trauma and as a result of these atrocities, abuse victims were able to gain justice and earn support from their peers.
So what does the #MeToo movement, sexual abuse in the Catholic Church and Egypt’s Copts have in common? Prepare thyself for the point of this essay. In recent weeks — in the midst of quarantine and a worldwide pandemic — stories of sexual assault and rape stemming from the Coptic community have plagued social media. Both men and women are speaking out about their trauma. The Coptic Orthodox Church is seemingly going through their own pandemic within its own people. Egyptian-Christian victims from across the U.S. and Canada have taken to Facebook, Twitter and Instagram to share their stories about their abuse.
In June 2020, various accusers came forward via Twitter regarding a Coptic University of South Florida student. They accused the former Sigma Pi fraternity member of rape. The claims sent shockwaves through Coptic Twitter and word got out to members of the Egyptian community beyond the Twitterverse. Many Egyptian millennials took to the platform to express their support for the Florida college student’s victims and condemned the church for not educating their youth about sexual assault. The scandal has sparked a larger conversation in the community about sexual violence that had never been talked about before. A new era seemed to dawn in the Egyptian society and since the revelation came to light, it set off a domino effect of other Coptic victims willing to discuss their experiences with rape and sexual violence. These accusers from all over the United States and Canada flooded social media with their violent tales of sexual trauma that involved Coptic priests, clergy, servants and other members of the church congregation.
One victim, a young Egyptian-Canadian woman from Ontario, detailed her own abuse experience in a viral Twitter thread on June 28. The woman, who has chosen to remain anonymous, also touched upon the absence of dialogue about sex in the culture. “As a Coptic woman, [I] have been extremely negatively impacted by the lack of conversation surrounding sex, sexual assault, and rape in our community,” she began her thread. “From my own experience, the vast majority of sexual assault that I have been through has happened, not only by a member of the coptic community, but also inside the church itself. Spanning from age 14 (the first time I was sexually assaulted in the church by a male member of the congregation) and even until now, walking inside of church causes my heart rate to increase and my stomach to drop.” She continued, “All of the things I loved about church were taken away from me from my ENTIRE teenage years, because of our community’s taboo mindset around conversations like these.”
The woman wrote that she had extreme anxiety and depression and her family couldn’t understand simply because she was afraid to talk about her trauma. “One of the times I was being sexually harassed, an older man in the church followed me out of the church’s gym, pretended to know a member of my family, then grabbed onto my hips and arms extremely hard, and dragged me along with him where no one could see,” she added. “The only way I managed to escape his grasp was by one of my friends calling me to ask where I went and I made a run for it. He ran after me throughout the whole church and kept on screaming profanities at me. I was mortified by what he was saying he would do to me, and I found an abouna (what we call a Coptic priest) and told him everything that happened. [His] response was to call my parents, comment on my outfit (I was wearing leggings in the gym), and then say that the man has a ‘mental illness’ therefore we shouldn’t call the police.” She ended her thread with a call to action for the Coptic Church. “If we don’t change the way we conduct these conversations for the next generation, we are letting a cycle of abuse and assault repeat itself before our eyes. I hope my experience inspires fellow servants and copts that we have so much work to do as a community,” she concluded.
Another sexual abuse survivor from Orlando, Florida shared her story on Instagram on July 14 and has since gained immense traction and support among the Egyptian-Christian community. The woman alleged that in 1997, when she was 11-years-old, a priest that had come to stay with her family from Egypt molested her in her bedroom. She wrote on social media, “One day [the priest] convinced my mom that I should start confession at a young age so I could get used to it. She trusted him and agreed. I was dreading it but was taught to obey. He took me to my bedroom and shut the door. He told me to sit on my bed and he sat to the right of me…He sat very close to me and had his arms around me.” She continued, “I could feel something wasn’t right about this, but I felt trapped. He started asking me if I have sexual desires for boys and told me sexually disturbing things that I didn’t quite understand at such a young age. He put both of his hands under my shirt and then under my bra…He attempted to go below the waist but by that point, my body was frozen in shock with my arms firmly across my waistline to block him from going into my shorts.” She also wrote that she remembered “feeling numb” during the encounter and that the priest “forcefully kissed me all over my face and in my mouth with his tongue.”
“He forced me down, laid on top of me and did what he had to do (while he kept his black tunic on). When he was finished, he got up [and] cleaned himself up and went to open my bedroom door, then turned around and said ‘remember, we never tell anybody what happens in confession,’ and waited for me to nod. Then he let me out of my room and into my new reality. My first kiss was with a priest,” she ended her post. The Orlando woman shared a photo of the clergyman she accused alongside her caption and added that she was just one of his many victims.
In the days following her testimony posting, she wrote that the man who allegedly assaulted her was “ordered to stop serving as a priest multiple times in the past 20 years” and in 2015, was defrocked by the head of Coptic Church, Pope Tawadros II (yes, there is more than one pope in the world). On July 18, the Pope issued a Papal Decree in response to the issue and it was posted on the Facebook page of his spokesperson. The statement noted that there were earlier claims by the priest’s other victims and that he had previously been stripped of his cleric title (a.k.a. laicization) The post announced the defrocking once again and had “notified all civic authorities in Egypt and in the United States of America to revoke any recognition” of the accused Coptic priest. After posting her story, the woman shared that she was on a quest to inform Pope Tawadros of the disgraced priests’ actions and said there was an ongoing investigation. She revealed that the Pope was on a witch hunt to find out who leaked an investigational report that proved that the clergyman assaulted her and “showed the failure of our hierarchy.” She also claimed that several Coptic leaders have reached out to her and ordered her to take her allegations down on social media. She refused these orders and wrote on July 24, “We will continued to expose the truth. You leaders need to do better and we have the right to demand that. If you don’t know how to lead, step down. We will not stop exposing your decades of lies and coverups that have resulted in THOUSANDS of victims. I take orders from no one but my God.” In another Instagram post, she called for all other abusers to be removed from priesthood.
Shortly after the Orlando woman’s story made waves, the hashtag “coptic survivor” began coursing through social media. Other survivors in the community began to share their stories alongside the hashtag in order to put a spotlight on the current issue of sexual violence. An Instagram account, aptly named “The Burning Bush,” is dedicated to anonymously posting stories of other sexual abuse victims as well as providing resources to help them. These stories have proven that what happened within the Catholic Church in Boston, can happen in other churches too. Sexual misconduct and violence can happen anywhere and to anyone despite the organization that the abuse stems from, is a religious and presumed trustworthy one.
As expected, the younger generation is supportive of abuse victims and is fighting back. However, many church leaders around the country have issued statements about the allegations against its clergy members and condemned the assaults and the abusers. They have voiced their support for survivors and are actually listening. On July 22, Bishop David, the head of the New York and New England Diocese released a statement. “With allegations of sexual misconduct recently coming to light,” the declaration began. “We condemn the cruelty of any and all sexual misconduct. The betrayal of trust and abuse of authority by any member of the clergy or servant within our church is, without exception, unacceptable and abhorrent to the teachings of our Christian faith. We bitterly regret any harm inflicted on our daughters, sons or their families. [The Coptic Orthodox archdiocese] will not tolerate sexual misconduct of any kind, including sexual abuse of minors buy any such person, we urge you to immediately report to law-enforcement.”
The Coptic Orthodox Diocese of Pennsylvania released a proclamation dated July 25, asking for church reform regarding sexual misconduct. The statement read, “The Diocese of Pennsylvania and its affiliated regions grieves with all victims who have suffered from clergy sexual misconduct. We condemn these horrific crimes and we bear suffering with those who have been hurt by the abuse of clerical power or by any other servant of the Coptic Church. We must speak up on behalf of the oppressed and focus our efforts on providing restorative care to address the trauma that the victims and their families have suffered. We are determined to revamp the policies in place to better protect our children.”
Father Pishoy Salama, a priest from St. Maurice & St. Verena Coptic Orthodox Church located in Markham, Ontario, took to Twitter to express his anger and stand in solidarity with victims. On July 24, he wrote, “Pedophilia is not only a sin but a crime punishable by the law. The lifelong scars that it leaves on survivors are unfathomable. They are left in a dark cycle of shame and guilt until the truth is revealed. Time for accountability NOT [impunity]! #SilenceIsNotOk. #CopticSurvivor.” Father Marcos Ghali, cleric of the St. Peter and St. George Church in Westlake, Ohio, gave a sermon on July 26 and relayed the message that any kind of abuse is not tolerated. “Yes, the church guides and covers the sin. As long as he seeks repentance. We will support that person until the end. We [the church] will support that person... [Abuse] is a sensitive subject and we don’t like to talk about it,” Father Marcos said. “I believe that it is time we take a stance. We believe that most priests and most clergy are good. But also we can’t have a blind eye.”
The Coptic #MeToo movement is now. Ever since the sexual abuse claims have spread across America, the disillusion of the Coptic Church has occurred. We as a community should not incriminate the church as a whole, and the survivors’ abusers are just a few bad apples. The cracks in the glass house have shattered and the church has been put on blast by many members. But survivors are not blaming the church for what happened to them, they are criticizing their perpetrators who are servants of God. These priests and servants who did these ungodly acts have proved that the church itself is to only be blamed for the lack of education they gave their community on illicit topics. Because the parish regards the church as its basis for morality, they look to it for guidance. We need to talk openly all about issues as a community, but it also comes down to parenting. Parents need to learn how to raise their sons and scrutinize them like they do to their daughters. Parents and kids should take what they learn from the religious leaders and have a discussion about what is right or wrong. While the Coptic Church does not condemn talk of taboo topics such as rape, sexual assault, sex before marriage, abortion, and divorce, these subjects are seldom discussed with the youth and the community. By not having open conversations with their community, the results are detrimental.
There is a reckoning coming within our community. Many stories about abuse are coming out and I guarantee there will be more looming. I do not condemn the church as a whole and I only denounce them for their lack of education and action on issues that have plagued the lives of their youth followers. I am also only condemning how others say that their moral code is stemmed from the church’s teachings and yet have not practiced what they preached. If that is the case, then the church should educate their community on matters like sexual abuse, rape and punish the persons responsible. The church shouldn’t hide from their mistakes and cover up incidents that do happen. By covering up incidents, it ruins the church’s reputation by keeping secrets. The church should be chided for not doing their part and for shaming boys and girls to be silent. This culture has a tendency to shove everything bad that comes up in the community under the rug and pretend it does not exist. It’s time to talk about the covered-up instances of pedophilia that have been happening during the last decade in the Coptic Church. The sacred establishment that is the House of God should not allow those disgraced servants and priests to keep working even after hearing the stories of their victims and not doing anything to stop them. The church needs to simply do better and listen to survivors who come to their clergy fathers for help. We have to educate our kids about sex and abuse so that these actions do not happen again.
It’s a common idea that you can basically pop into any Coptic Church in the world and feel like it’s your family; your second home. Home is where you feel safest. It’s supposed to be a sanctuary where you can be at peace and take a break from the outside world. Therefore, when talking about sexual abuse (or any type of abuse really), one shouldn’t feel violated in one’s home no matter what. I grew up in a church that was the basis for my moral ground and beliefs. When I was younger, watching my friends and family when they prayed in the church filled me with a sense of pride. To be a part of a culture that is famous for being ancient and the basis for every movie shot in the desert — to be unique yet different — made me feel special. I saw the culture and the church as almost pure and blemish-free. Because there are so few of us in the world, I felt loved and safe in the Coptic religion to a degree. I realized the church and the community stays close to each other because it’s safer and easier; both socially and romantically. Therefore, it’s basically perfect. But nothing is ever really perfect, is it? Maybe call it my youthful naivete, but I saw nothing wrong behind the church I called home. As I got older, I saw that there were some cracks in the foundation of my beloved church. But that perspective can happen with any religion or relationship. Growing older helps you look at the things you love dearly in a new light; whether it’s good or bad. Behold, the rose-colored glasses have been shattered.
Millennials via Coptic Twitter have spoken out at great lengths about these sexual abuse cases and have expressed their sheer disgust. One user wrote, “There’s no way to sugar coat this but if the Coptic church doesn’t speak to youth about sex, how can they speak to them about assault? The consequences of not discussing this are detrimental. The Egyptian outlook on sexuality perpetuates rape culture. We are not innocent either.” Another account tweeted, “What is happening in our community right now is a tough pill to swallow, but I truly hope it sheds light on a much bigger issue, which is the double standard in which our young men vs women are raised. I hope we raise the next generation to be better. I hope this opens up more conversation.” The Burning Bush wrote on their own Twitter, “In sharing these stories of sexual abuse within the Coptic Church, we’re aiming to show the scope and scale of this issue in our communities. It’s time to end the silence that accompanies sexual violence. We can’t address these abuses if we think they don’t exist or if we refuse. No means no. Consent needs to be taught in the church. #copticsurvivor #copticmetoo.”
So how can the culture and the church do better? By educating their youth and their parents. By having an open dialogue. By being more open-minded. By talking more about taboo subject matter, consent and respect, we don’t allow horrific acts like violence, rape and assault to happen. These steps will help open up a more easy relationship between clergy and their congregation. Hidden incidents like sexual abuse happens all over the culture and it’s just buried so deep within the so-called perfect and cookie cutter face. The church should condemn these priests and servants who defiled victims and they must be given proper punishment. If one is a part of a holy organization, one should not be acting in such a vile manner. One should not be disgracing the very ground that provided them with a job and some level of holy divinity. Jesus is seriously ashamed.
Unless the church wants people to continue loving them, they must do better. Our male-dominated religious hierarchy also needs to do a better job of believing victims (both men and women) and stop blaming them for the sexual violence that they unfortunately endure at the hands of others. The church needs to defend their children and condemn/punish abusers. Legal action must be taken to help ensure that the victims are granted their justice. Parents should also teach their children the right way to respect others just like they respect God. We are all His children and therefore, we should all start acting like it.
The various testimonies shared across platforms such as Twitter and Instagram have set off a paradigm shift for the Coptic Church to change their ways. The institution must be more attentive to their community and their pastorate. One would be quick to think that the old fuddy-duddy traditional conservative clergy of old men would not take the side of the victims. They would do anything to protect the credibility and authority of the church that gave them such prestige, wealth and made them men of the cloth. But the last few weeks and the responses of several priests throughout the U.S. have proven that the old world view is almost gone. Feminism and #MeToo are here to stay. Church leaders have realized that this is not the old country anymore. This is the modern age where people of all genders, religions and colors have a voice. The clergy can help amplify these voices and help usher in a new era of being a Coptic person living in America. The men of the altars who have stood up for the sufferers have helped shed a new light on sexual misconduct.
With all that has been said, done and thought over in recent weeks, hopefully congregations from across the board can become a representation of the very church that they come from. To all the priests and servants who this doesn’t apply to, you are the good apples. We don’t want you to stop hugging us or loving us. We don’t want you to not talk to us about our problems. We want you to still be you. The time is now to make a difference in any way possible to create a more radiant future for the Egyptian-Coptic culture. The church will not change unless its people change first. ◾
If you or someone you know has suffered from sexual abuse, please call the National Sexual Abuse Hotline at 800–656-HOPE or visit https://www.rainn.org.
If you would like to share your story please email copticsurvivor@gmail.com and follow @theburningbush and @copticsurvivor to learn more.
