10 Things I wish I’d known About Gaslighting
Shea Emma Fett
6.7K137

Wonderful article. I’ve sent many similar articles to my boyfriend already but it does no good. I’ve tried. (But every time I read things like this, it helps me get clearer on what happened to me in my previous marriage.) He can’t see that this is exactly what has been happening to him. We had a very fine love for almost two years, that gradually deteriorated due to his sister’s gaslighting. She is seven years older. They have lived together for six years since he divorced and she was widowed. She is horribly jealous and possessive and controlling. She uses him financially. She’s convinced him that he is responsible for her happiness and that our relationship made her terribly unhappy. He finally broke up with me because she was “so uncomfortable,” and because I started refusing to be the “other woman.” She is his primary relationship. It is incredibly sick. She has used all these tactics on him that you describe. I know I can’t change him, but the pain of losing him is terrific. My point here is a reminder for you and others that it is not just love relationships or parent/child relationships which suffer from gaslight-controlling, but it can happen between siblings as well. I’ve tried to find information on this but it is extremely rare. I suspect it is more common between siblings than what people may realize, but sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who is having this experience. I wish all you wonderful authors who write these things so beautifully would mention this, and I agree also with other people that it would be better if it were done without specific gender. My ex boyfriend was emotionally abused by his ex wife for 28 years before he finally left, but I think he is attracted to the (non-sexual) relationship with his sister because he grew habituated to emotional abuse. Unfortunately there is very little out there for men to help them deal with these things. Thanks much for your writing.

Like what you read? Give Eileen Keyes a round of applause.

From a quick cheer to a standing ovation, clap to show how much you enjoyed this story.