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Are you told to smile more?

OR how about a ‘NY bit** ?

Perhaps I share this now as I remember the latter about a year ago. I will get to that later on.

To ‘Embrace Autumn’, ‘As You Are’ wherever you are, with intention and more faith in your own intuition…. Those are sentiments reverberating through my mind to keep the mental stamina in tact. Despite the frustrations and challenges which cannot be blown away with the wind, recognize the beauty around you wherever you see it.

The days are now cool but comfortable and nights are chilly. There is no need for heat or air conditioning and you can leave the windows open a touch, listening to the rain fall while wearing little but ‘happy socks’ and your favorite shirt or that cotton robe alone curled up under the duvet with chamomile tea before you sleep. (All minor pleasures, non existent in the sultry heat of summer humidity!) Not to mention, it is still warm enough to wear open toe heels or run in shorts, sunrise or sunset.

The pleasant autumn air aside, I was compelled to share some thoughts about the authenticity of the energy that is exhibited on Instagram or any form of social media with respect to life and style. First, There are more ways to embrace this authenticity era than sharing a no makeup selfie! (which btw, I think its fabulous!)

Someone mentioned to me in the summer that I need to fake a smile and ‘be happy’ or something along those lines. The intention was to be helpful and constructive. Understood but let’s get this straight! At least speaking for myself, the smiles are more often the candid moments and are natural. (maybe i got a hug from a big furry friend or was day dreaming of my lost love!) Those aside, my expression most often doesn’t exhibit some gleaming visage. So what! I nor other women need smile on cue or be perceived as if we are angry because we don’t walk around with a smile. RBF or New York bit** (yes…I have gotten that before. Quite the laugh afterwards), whatever it shall be called, so be it.

There is this inherent message in the media that women need to smile or be happy and cheerful and if we are not then there is something wrong! OK maybe there is! We do not need to smile to please society because others are posting their drunk selfies or escapades for all the world to see! Rather, why not remind each other it’s ok to have good and bad days but that you keep going AND don’t give up. In no way, am I insinuating that the anti dote to smiling need be promoting negative energy. Just be yourself! Be you!

Let’s not be afraid to be ourselves and embrace authenticity with at least a touch of reality here and there. I debated sharing the photo below because admittedly, I have not felt my best for various reasons, allergies and more personal emotions included. So.. not quite glowing or in any state of mind to smile on prompt unless a true incentive! My skin has been unforgiving for one and allergies and hormones seem to have taken a toll on me. Every woman (or man) has their own unique story but I feel there is nothing wrong with being who we are now and not feeling the need to smile if we do not want to.

This sense of authenticity does not mean we aren’t experiencing beauty by observation or appreciating it when we can and remembering to try and be grateful for the gifts we do have in life however large or small.
On a more materialistic level, I may not post new shoes all the time because I am not out buying new shoes. I share the same shoes a lot on Instagram. I wear black not only because I like the way it looks on me but because it is more practical and versatile! Red make me feel more alive!

Ultimately, while I have recently been perplexed with respect to how much I agree about how authentic and transparent one must be to inspire others and connect on an emotional level, I do believe there is value and empowerment in being a bit real and raw from time to time in one’s own way. My choice at times teeters on sharing emotions in an ambiguous way or context that is absolutely honest emotionally but forgoing details. Let’s just return to that all too known quote,

“Virtue is a veil…. Vice is a mask” — Victor Hugo

During the summer, I had joked to a friend to take a photo and said something along the lines of “Make it look like I am having fun!” This may have sounded rude to say as any friend would hope when you are in each others company, that you are having fun! Well, most often, when we say something on the whim like that, it’s the truth. Happiness cannot be forced but maybe just maybe it’s alright to not feel this need to be gallantly happy a good part of the time. Acknowledging and giving ourselves permission to just be how we are now (as long as this means still being kind and respectful to others in the meantime) can be a way to build up the courage and willpower to tackle our own desires. Ultimately, deep down, you can be a better person around those you care about and appreciate when you are stronger on your own.

Its October 5. (Well.. It was when I started writing this. Segments!). Either way, it’s under 3 months from Christmas and the end of the year. The last quarter! A suiting time to stop and think more carefully about our year and what we can do to make it end better if we feel we need an adjustment. One can never speak for everyone but merely know there are others who can resonate with the same sentiments or did so in the past. When you share how your ways of thinking and state of mind has been altered with a friend, who understands you, that is a great feeling. This happened to me yesterday. I was glad even when touching base after many months that I didn’t pretend and realized that my dilemmas are often no different in this world of deciding who to please and who to pass by.

I also wanted to share one way I am ‘embracing autumn’. I am working on a project that may seem small but feels meaningful and inspiring in my own unique way. Let’s just say it will start being shared on something we can wear and hopefully more.


My intuition is telling me that in the long run, we must look at our darker times as a way to propel us forward and cross the bridges we have been long overdue to cross. Perhaps I note this in a subtle way on here to stay determined and committed, with less doubt and more faith being one of the key themes to keep on the forefront of the mind as each last day of this year unfolds every so quickly. By sharing on here, I want to follow through, not give up on myself and felt like sharing that with even the slim few that read through the paragraphs of these journal posts.

Other women may also have a voice inside telling yourself to be stronger and stop doubting yourself! Maybe I am not the only one striving to recognize there will be zig zags and downfalls here and there but to keep going despite the pain. Well, there is no going backwards ladies AND gentleman!

One thing I know too well right now is that dwelling on the past and mistakes aren’t going to get us anywhere. A haircut may invigorate our sense of character, lift us up and allow us to let go of something we thought we were attached to but our inner strength is most crucial.

Savor what is left of this year and let’s not take one day for granted!

Embrace Autumn!
Trust Your Intuition,
Doubt Yourself Less,
Have More Faith
Maintain Dedication
FIery Autumn Red
  • Originally shared on; a site celebrating amazing shoes, luxurious style and life inspiration for the modern woman.
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