Let’s play Hatoful Boyfriend, the pigeon dating simulator

Yes, you read that title correctly. Hatoful Boyfriend is Japan’s premier avian romance sim, and a few days ago got a commercial English language release for the first time.

The game opens the same way each time — with you, a human girl, entering her second year at St. Pigeonation’s.

You can enter custom name for your character, but — perhaps out of shame — I opted for the default Japanese suggestion Hiyoko Tosaka.

The first person, er, bird, you’ll meet is Ryouta. He’s a nice guy who looks after his sickly mum.

Each time you meet someone for the first time, it will show a human representation of the bird’s personality. Though in truth they’re all just generic anime characters.

And so we begin the first term. The entire game takes place over the course of a single academic year.

Groan.

The first day is the longest, introducing us to the game’s major cast. The class teacher’s defining characteristic is that he falls asleep a lot.

Next we meet Sakuya, the posh transfer student.

Yeah, that pun is a recurring one. And the illustration feels superfluous. That plumage easily speaks for itself.

You might be thinking that there’s not a whole lot of interactivity going on for a game. And you’d be right. It’s more like a choose-your-own-adventure book.

As you can probably tell, I’ve played through this once already. I ended up romancing this shy dove who spends his entire time in the library.

The idea, I think, is that you can attempt to woo any one of these birds. The game then gradually branches off with a different storyline.

Nageki was a tough nut to crack. And the ending was rather bittersweet.

What’s this? Family drama in the corridor outside!

It’s the older brother of the posh dove from earlier. He’s something of a ladies’ man.

I wonder if these birds are supposed to be human sized? Or am I crawling around on all fours? The game’s limited graphics keep it ambiguous.

More drama! Ryouta — my pigeon friend from earlier — is apparently unwell.

But Ryouta is nowhere to be seen.

Oh jeez. It’s the school doctor.

I’ll say!

Later, we’ll get to choose which after school club to join (and, effectively, which bird to spend time with). For now, it’s track and field.

Here’s where the game begins to get… weird.

Um, what? His human alter ego is… also a bird?

I really have no idea. I tried to avoid this guy on the first playthrough.

Phew! It was certainly an action-packed day. The game’s pace now begins to increase, cutting out whole weeks at a time to fit an entire school year into about an hour’s worth of gameplay.

Day two begins with the game’s first actual bit of interactivity besides choosing a name: deciding on an after-school club. Each provide the opportunity to spend time with different characters.

And another choice. Different subjects raise your stats, RPG-style. Music class, for example, raises your charisma by five points.

I chose to join the student council. Sakuya is president, and apparently the only other member. I end up being vice president by default.

Those seem like dangerous thoughts in a world run by birds.

Yes, my home is a cave. The human character lives a bizarre anarcho-primal lifestyle, for reasons unexplored in this game. (The true backstory involves Avian Flu, a vaccine that gives birds human-like intelligence, and a battle between birds and humans… according to Wikipedia.)

At this point, I probably ought to double down on which bird to pursue romantically.

Since I’m already in school council with him, I may as well attempt to woo Sakuza. Who could resist those majestic tail feathers, after all?

Time is passing quickly now. It’s halfway through June already. (For those not paying attention, the game started on 8th April. The Japanese school calendar is different, I guess.)

Anyway, who is this Brian fellow?

Oh right, him.

I can see how he won that Pullitzer now.

Uh oh! Sakuya and Okosan are having beef (err, poultry?)

I guess that answers my earlier question about these birds’ size.

The game skips to ten days later, and Sakuya’s ladykiller brother is trying it on with me.

Then in June, there’s some festival where everyone writes a wish on a card, or something. The options are somewhat… unexpected?

The narcoleptic teacher offers to walk me home. Don’t worry, he doesn’t try it on or anything. If anything, he seems jealous of my cave.

Oh my.

I wonder if I can romance them both? Would that be wrong?

On the final day of term, I join Sakuya in cleaning the council office. The game gives me the option to obey his orders, or stand up to him.

Romantic? Well, it’s a bonding experience anyway. Who knows, perhaps with time Sakuya and I might get together… ❤