Daily Musings — Looking for My Cottage

#4 Oh goodness. The challenges of writing once a day have once again disqualified me from my wants and pushed me farther from goal. So before my computer dies, it’s absolutely essential to get some words written. In the future I hope to eliminate these verbose and unnecessary intros. They’re annoying, no? I think they are.

I noticed this morning that as the summer dips and swings like the porch chair in my backyard, I absolutely need to live it to the fullest. I always dreamed of making it to NYC, but now that I work around the corner from Time Square, I’m reminded everyday of how much I hate the crowded hustle and bustle, and the tuna can trains that crash and spill open as their riders are towed away and away. But hate is an awful strong word and I’m no scoffer or hater, no sir (or ma’am) not me. For I can find the beauty and the comedy in just about every situation. I can laugh the bobbing short skirts dancing in the wind and the suits and ties in 75 degree weather and the line up at Starbucks shouting to me that there’s no chance I’ll pick up coffee this morning, and the buzzing office door that makes me feel as if I’m working from inside of a safe. I think it’s all comical, wasteful, unproductive. And I’ve found myself in a position that pays me way too little to do absolutely nothing, where I watch the clock until it sarcastically admits to me that 5 pm does not arrive on week days.

And I told myself for days I’d pick up my guitar, even if just for a few sad moments as my fingers have gone softer than my brain and I’m tired all the time from lack of meaning.

I actually sit in front of a computer screen all day — multiple screens, so many screens, so bright in my eyes. How do people do this? How am I to spend my summers working in an office behind a thick black curtain and a door that slams…

… While other people rent summer homes and cottages and go hiking and swimming and get bit up by mosquitoes and drink too much alcohol and call their grandmothers more often. They run and jump and stay up all night talking, writing, singing, burning things down. I wish I could throw my phone in the river and sleep in a tent for a couple of nights…

How do I get out of this city? Where’s a girl to go to find a little quiet?

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