Knocking
Halo perkenalkan nama aku Anjani, hobi aku kuda kepang WKWK #timjokesBiskuat
Halo back again I am writing a new post. Really in my daily basis I want to write again something I call…. feeling related stuff. I want to end up writing a deep passage about this. But sometime I prioritize this kinda theme lower than everything else if there’s another. Lately, and since I think I am pessimistic, I really feel saturated about, well let’s call it love or amour. Am I late to start over again ? Soalnya kek udah males gitu loh *tetiba berubah jadi Bahasa*
You envisage this. I am 23 years old and had been failing in many romance cases and here I am don’t even believe it exists anymore. Really all those traumatic (exaggerating, LOL) series of event leave me a big question mark; is there anyone outside there to REALLY fond me ? I mean is there anyone outside there the first impression about me is my personality instead of what I’ve been seen physically ? Not even sure I am wkwk pathetic. The thing that now I attempt to perceive love in another way to merely chill myself. Intelligent. Now I put my feet on that principle that I have to be partnered with someone who is smart both brain skill and personality. The reason is I am kinda tired of stuck with someone’s face or outlook appearance which most of it is…. temporarily adored. I mean when I know them a bit deeper that really all those face aspects obsolete when the personality is like meh-No — can’t-handle. I obviously can be a long-last admirer when it comes to personality and of course the way they think about something. That’s why I adore how someone is intelligence and have a good personality back-up. I AM WRITING RANDOM WITH NO MAIN FOCUS SENTENCE LOL sorry but I am eager to spoil what I have been feeling inside. That has been occurred for I can’t remember.
Now more pathetic side is… I really tend to close any door to any opportunity jumping back to it. I attempt hard to be a denial-person-ever. I deny every thought possibility of having crush. It doesn’t mean I don’t love myself or stray from it, but because I love myself so I don’t want to make myself hurt again for another several times. It’s just the way I prevent myself not going down again since I thought that my life has been very tough so to have another problem allowed into my life isn’t a good option. I am trying to be highly logical before I decide to open the door. Plus… by I am declaring this still no body attempts to knock the door too HAHA so why must I open it when no body has a trial to open it ? WKWKWK it seems like allowing mosquitoes to come and bite me *notrelated*
Everyone has their own point of view on how experience love and I am glad that I take lesson in every case. I will not experience the same similar case. And another thing is… my age is now going older and I don’t think it’s time to play any game. I avoid to end any future relationship in the matter of time. I badly want to meet someone, have a quick settle down connection, and be serious. I am not even your right person to play with. I really want to meet someone who is serious and have a vision in relationship. The clock is ticking right ? That’s why someone who is mature, financially steady, and have a good personality will capture my attention at its peak. I am more than ready to take care of someone, to spend the whole time with, and have a good cooperation along the path. I am no longer a kid, I am growing up and I confess relationship is an adult responsibility and I don’t want to feel wasted after all. That’s my view now.
So either the feeling of I don’t any love exists for me or I am more than ready to take care of someone and live together, I feel blurred. I am not sure which point I am now. But now the feeling of saturation is gradually obvious daily. I dunno where my feeling ends up but at this point it’s hard for to me see somebody will come along the way and give a try knocking and prove me wrong that love does exist WKWK
